Who had the first mullet hair cut?
Was it the Romans?
Was it the Greeks?
Was it some tribe from deep in the rainforest, or maybe the isolated inhabitants of some long-ago mountain village?
Or was it that singer dude from Def Leppard?
Oh well, what’s the point? No one knows and no one is ever going to know, so let’s just get on with the facts: even though many modern 21st century people who think they are hip and in-the-know love to make fun of the mullet with an almost religious fervor, there still remains, in my humble opinion, something remotely cool and interesting about the weird style, especially when it is a young kid wearing it on their head like a pet fox clinging to their scalp for dear life.
Yes, it is true, the mullet sort of screams out,”Hey! Freak show in the flesh over here!” And, of course, any child seen sporting the epic ‘Kentucky Waterfall’ cut runs the likely risk of being tormented and humiliated by other young people who simply cannot get their heads around the fact that such hairstyles actually exist.
Still though, whenever I see a little boy or girl with a mullet I instantly think to myself, “
There is no God!” “Now there is a kid who is going to grow up with a real defined sense of style and individuality!”
Am I right? Again, it’s hard to say exactly.
But, I mean, if a young human being is voluntarily (or, as I suspect is often the case, involuntarily) walking around on the face of this particular planet with a haircut that simply HAD to come from an ancient battle helmet design, then that kid is going to probably end up walking away from the experience stronger, tougher, and/or much more in touch with the humorous side of the universe.
I know, I know, there are lots and lots of people out there who are just buzzing and swarming around my comments, ready to pounce all over my feeble attempts at defending one of the most hideous hair styles in the history of the world, but admit it: your life would be a little less awesome if you didn’t have people with mullets to make you smile, huh?
So, I raise my frosty mug of Mountain Dew in toast to each and every one of these kids you are about to see. Because they made me grin like a banshee.
And I suspect they’re going to do the same for you and your ‘awesome’ hair, too.
You can also find Serge on his personal blog, Thunder Pie.
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