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How I Met Your Mother — It’s Time to Stop Lying

By Michael Schmid |

married couple who met on a dating siteI’m curious. Do any of you tell people a lie when they ask how you and your spouse met? I’ve a confession to make. I used to lie about how my wife and I met.

I have some friends who told their in-laws they met at church. The thing is, I was there when they met and it was a bartender and not a minister in charge of the flock.

So, what was my lie? What was it about how my wife and I met that was so shocking that I made up a story and lied about it. Nope, we didn’t meet in a bar.

We met [gasp] online! I know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the sordid truth sooner, but I was embarrassed. That’s not the whole story, though. You better sit down.

My wife and I met while reading and commenting on each others blogs 7½ years ago! Yeah, we’ve been blogging for a long time, but back to our story…

My wife was an American expat living in Ireland, blogging about her exploits big and small. I stumbled upon her blog and was hooked… and before long smitten.

I was blogging, too, but more than 4,000 miles away in Texas. You guessed it; we fell in love. Do you know what I did next? I lied to my family about how we met!

Looking back it seems silly, but at the time I worried what they would think. You were supposed to meet at church… or at a bar that you told them was a church.

Would they think there was something sordid or weird about meeting on a computer? Most of my family had never even heard of a blog. So 7 years ago I lied.

How did you meet your spouse? I’ve had quite a few people recently tell me they met on dating sites like Match.com, eHarmony or ChristianMingle.

They don’t act like it’s weird or like they are embarrassed to say it. So it’s time I stop lying. My name is Michael and I met my wife on the Internet.

Where did you meet?

For more of Michael Schmid’s posts you can find him at adaddyblog.com, and follow him on Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and Pinterest.

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About Michael Schmid

adaddyblog

Michael Schmid

Michael Schmid is founder & editor of A Daddy Blog, and shares a home in Dallas with his beautiful bride and their 4 year old girl. He blogs about fatherhood, social media, technology, coffee, cars & cuddles. He contributed to the Dad channel at Babble.

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45 thoughts on “How I Met Your Mother — It’s Time to Stop Lying

  1. Lady Estrogen says:

    I met my husband through an online dating site (lavalife) and I’ve never lied about it… but then again, I rather enjoy watching people’s expressions when I tell them the truth.

  2. Diera says:

    I didn’t meet my husband *on* the Internet, but I met him *because* of the Internet. Back in the days when the Internet was sustained by birds flying back and forth with messages a la the Flintstones, when I was in college, I used to spend a lot of time on Usenet. When I changed areas to go to graduate school, I met up in real life with a few Usenet friends who lived in my new home town and found them congenial in person too. I met a lot of local people through them, among them my husband, although it took a few years before that happened.

  3. Kristi says:

    I met several suitors online before meeting my husband. At a bar.

  4. Nikki says:

    lol this is funny that you used to lie about it! I think the way you guys met was very romantic and a bit like “You’ve Got Mail” :)

    Martin and I have a kinda funny story, we met on match.com. He sent me a really charming, cute email on there (having something to do with our same signs which I LOVED), we met that weekend, and were attached to eachother since:), I remember there was a boy I had casually dated a couple of times and I called him after my date with Martin and told him I couldn’t see him anymore and that I met the one:) that was 6 years ago! I have lied about it though to my Grandmom:) but here’s why…I figure she’s from an older generation where people just don’t do that, and, while now she can see the love between us and fell in love with Martin herself, her knowing that might just put a damper on her thought of our family and I’d rather not put her through that, (or put myself through that!) I’ve told everyone else though! :)

  5. Kelley Simpson says:

    Hi Michael! I love telling our story. My husband and I met at a riot! He was out there as a SWAT team member and I was called out to run the radio traffic. He saw me in the com van and came inside to introduce himself. He didn’t really plan the whole thing out so as soon as the introduction was over he just stood there giving me what I like to call a creepy look. He says I gave him a look ;-) if you know what I mean, but I’m sure I didn’t. The rest is history. After meeting in the middle of a riot, the rest is child’s play.

  6. Shannon says:

    I bet by the time preschoolers are in college the MAJORITY of them will have parents that met online in some way!

  7. Crystal says:

    My ex and I went to high school together but never knew each other…then two years after I graduated, he messaged me on a dating website. We just told people we knew each other from high school and never mentioned the internet. Luckily my current boyfriend and I met in a conventional way…at work…

  8. sarah says:

    i actually did meet my husband at church and were married after four months

  9. Bryan says:

    I met my wife online 10 years ago. It was a big deal then. Now no one bats an eye. Our kids will be shocked people don’t meet that way.

  10. Texasholly says:

    So cute! I didn’t meet my husband at church, but our first date was there…We met in the girls’ dorm lobby where he was looking over the incoming girls on registration day. I was the lucky one :) .

  11. Jennifer says:

    My husband jokes that he “paid” $19.95 for me because that’s what it cost for a 1 month subscription to Yahoo personals, which is where we met 9 years ago. We’ve been married for 7 years and have 1 child.

  12. Hi! It’s Michael… the guy who wrote this. It’s funny how things change. As a dad of a 3 year old girl, I wonder what will be “normal” some day when I let her out of here castle tower (say when she’s 30?) and she starts dating?Anyway, I love hearing your stories. Thank you!

  13. Debs says:

    I love this article and the comments…(i must be on facebook too much cos i was looking for the like buttton!!!)

    I met my ex online…a dating site…since he took off some 8 yrs later i kinda avoid it now….but you cant…its the most sociable place to meet people you just wouldn’t do anywhere else!!

    I say go you!!

  14. Samira says:

    Im not married but i can tell horror stories of meeting “interesting” people online I met my current boyfriend in college

  15. dezi's mom says:

    I met my husband online and I am conflicted about telling our son that when he gets old enough, because I don’t know if I would want to encourage him to do the same. We met online in the 90′s, things were a lot different back then. Now there are a lot more predators who victimize people online and i am concerned about it.

  16. Sara says:

    I too met my other half on a dating website (PoF). His profile pic had a fuzzy looking him standing next to a red firebird formula sportscar. My first message to him was simply “nice car.” for three years – until he had to sell it to make way for our first child together – he’d tell anybody who listened “did I tell you how THAT car got me her?”

  17. C E Colling says:

    a few weeks before valentines day i met my now husband on Plenty Of Fish online. we met for the first time for coffee on valentines day only because we both didnt have a date so we were free haha.before we met we talked online for a few weeks and got to know eachother,even then we could finish eachothers sentence. after coffee we said see you later and i went off to a “crappy valentines day” party a few of my other single friends were going to. i had made cookies and decided to drop some off for him on the way. i had a friend in the car with me when i went. as soon as we got to the party she told everyone about the hot guy i had met. they all told me i had to call him and leave the party. so i did. we stayed up till 4am in the car drinking coffee and having some laughs, 6 months later we moved in with eachother. after 21/2 yrs of dating and living together we were married and have a beautiful little girl,

  18. Krista says:

    I met my husband on Christianmingle.com. I never lied about it but I said it sheepishly. I was a widow (a youngish one –37) when I started the online dating experiment. I tried 2–eharmony first (which is not all its cracked up IMO) and Christianmingle. I got married the first time in 1993–boy things had changed in 14 years!! Being my age and having been married that many years, online dating was something I had previously poked fun at and here I was in the thick of it! As it turns out, it was just a tool to reach my destiny. (cheesy I know) but my husband and I practically grew up together –same schools, friends, work places but we never met –until the time was right :)

  19. Sherri says:

    I met my husband on a cruise…. In a bar. 5 months after meeting I was moved 1100 miles across crountry. 6 months later we were married & expecting baby #1.

  20. Anastasia says:

    Haha I’m in that same boat right now!! My family is pretty traditional. I’m dating a guy right now I meg on ChristianMingle. We met up and realized we went to the same church (a big church) so telling my family we net at church didn’t seem like a lie lol. He told his mom and step dad the truth cause they met online too :-)
    I think it’s easier to meet online..ESP since I’m a single mom. It made it easy to jut put everything out there that’s important to me and let someone else decide if they wanted to talk. Plus you don’t have to deal with the rejection face to face haha. I told my best friend..her reaction..I thought dating online was for desperate people in their 30′s or ugly people. Lmao. I’m 24.and not at all ugly..I think it’s a better way of meeting people then a bar..ESP if ur Christian. But the stigma in some ways does still exist. Maybe I’ll tell my family before I do’s were said…probably not lol

  21. Trish Sammer Johnston says:

    I love this! I get the sentiment completely.

    How about this for a tell/don’t tell scenario: I’m a Single Momma and I met my current lovely love of 8+ months on match.com. Our collective kids know it, too!

    Better yet, I’m even blogging about how we got together — because who doesn’t love a love story? (Although I admit: None of the kids are reading the blog. However, I’m painfully aware that someday they might … so I’m planning going rather light on certain details! Plus, really, who wants to read about the hot sex life of two single parents in their early 40s?)

    Nice post! You can check out my crazy situation at accordingtotrish.com.

  22. Darielle says:

    I didn’t have to go anywhere to meet my husband lol! He just came through the front door of my house one day with his cousin and my friend. It was love at first sight =)

  23. Dana says:

    My husband and I met online. :-) Singlesnet.com We are both kind of like the other lady who said she likes to watch peoples reactions when we tell them, but it is getting much more common.

  24. Married 16 years says:

    I met my husband in junior high.

  25. Jess says:

    My husband and I met through an online dating site. We talked for a few weeks on the phone, and eventually “met” at a restaurant for a real live date!! We’ve been together nearly every day since! Been together 9 years and married for 5 with 3 beautiful children. I used to lie about how we met- my family is very traditional and until recently tought the internet was the devil. Now I don’t let it faze me anymore. I openly will tell people, especially those who want to try meeting someone online but are too afraid to try it. Why shouldn’t they be happy too?

  26. Tammy says:

    I met my husband through a lady who worked on both our hair. She played matchmaker and gave him my phone number, but of course gave me a heads up. He called me first time on Valentine’s day 11 years ago. We got engaged in less than 6 weeks… Married August of that year. I love telling people how we met.

  27. Lolo says:

    My husband and lie about where we met for a good reason… I was dating his roommate and when I met him we decided that we were more compatible. When people ask we just say we met through mutual friends not well I made a little switch a roo.

  28. Lolo says:

    My husband and lie about where we met for a damn good reason…I was dating his roommate and when I met him we decided that we were more compatible. When people ask we just say “we met through mutual friends” not “well I made a little switch”

  29. BrokerZMommy says:

    My husband and I met online…at myspace.com. Lol. I was somewhat dating a guy I wasn’t happy with, he didn’t treat me right. I had came across my husband looking through profiles to find people I REALLY knew…I came across him…HOT….successful…a musician(I’d secretly always KNEW I’d be with a drummer ;) ) After we had sent messages back and for for while, I finally convinced him to meet up! FINALLY! (I think he was dating someone…lol) So we met up….and he says as soon as I stepped out of my car he was thinking…”Ahhh..why can’t I date a girl like that..?” Sweet huh?! We SWORE we were only going to be JUST FRIENDS…that ended after about…a month. We spent a lot of time together even tho we wanted to be Just Friends…Now we’ve been married for 4 years and have a beautiful 3 year old son. I couldn’t ask for a better husband! As someone said above…..I’m the lucky one :) But I also agree with Dezi’s mom….I don’t think I can get myself to tell my little Brok that we met online, only for him to think it’s ok with the height of predators online and things kids are exposed to these days.

  30. christine brown says:

    im not married yet . but the guy iam with we met in high school my first yr and he became my first boyfriend. then we brokeup stayed friends lost contact with each other up until summer 2009 and got back together nov. 2009 and still together. and have a daughter together . and my daughter from a previous relationshipin his life.

  31. LeeAnn says:

    I met my husband at a creepy bar that has since been shut down due to drug activitiy and possible prostitution. We are actually a very Christ-centered couple. It was love at 1st sight!

  32. Jorge says:

    I met my wife while attending a live taping of the Jon Stewart show. I was convinced that I was in love with Jon, and had gone to the show to ooooogle at him from the audience. My soon-to-be wife had been seated beside me just as the taping began. When she began to whisper to me about her years-long crush on Jon Stewart, I knew that she would be the one for me……

  33. Simone says:

    My husband and I met on a Q&A website online. We met in person after answering each other’s questions for months. Now, 2 kids and 5 years later, I love telling our story.

  34. Shantel says:

    My husband and I met quite a few years ago, when I was 12 and he was 17. Our parents were best friends and so we saw each other frequently. On New Year’s Eve, right after I turned 21, he kissed me… and the rest is history. We were married 5 months later and 8 months after our wedding we had our son :)

  35. Gretchen says:

    I met my husband in a more romantic fashion that is more like a fairy tale. Feel free to run to the bathroom to throwup at this time….

    We met while I was backpacking through Scotland. (yes, there is a small portion that I do lie to my family, but mostly it remains barf-worthy).
    After my sophomore year in college, I needed some time away from friends and family. I was pretty poor and broke livin on my last dime when my pastor friend called to tell me that one of his friends was in town after two years in Portugal. I climbed on the train and met him in his hometown in Scotland, and invited me on a week long tour of the Northwest. I should mention that cell phones and radio reception are non existent in the far west portion of the country. We talked the entire time while touring castles and driving around lochs.

  36. Kim J. says:

    My husband and I met on Yahoo Personals 7 years ago. We have been married for 2 1/2 years and have a beautiful 3 month old daughter.

  37. Gretchen says:

    I met my husband in a more romantic fashion that is more like a fairy tale. Feel free to run to the bathroom to throwup at this time….

    We met while I was backpacking through Scotland. (yes, there is a small portion that I do lie to my family, but mostly it remains barf-worthy).
    After my sophomore year in college, I needed some time away from friends and family. I was pretty poor and living on my last dime when my pastor friend called to tell me that one of his friends was in town after two years in Portugal. I climbed on the train and met him in his hometown in Scotland, where we started a week long tour of the Northwest. I should mention that cell phones and radio reception are non existent in the far west portion of the country. We talked the entire time while touring castles and driving around lochs.

  38. Eve says:

    I met my husband on Myspace. I rarely went on but was using it to check out local events in Los Angels, where I recently moved. He messaged me about being a hairdresser in the area. I decided to have him do my hair and in return we became best friends. A year later we were married and have a beautiful baby girl. He is the only man now to do my hair and I could not have asked for a more perfect person to spend the rest of my life with. Although, we were both hesitate to tell our parents where and how we met, especially over the Skype, as he is from Serbia and my parents were back on the east coast,lol.. I am sure our daughter will think it’s just fine, kids now and days. Thx Myspace, haven’t went back on there since.

  39. Kat says:

    My hubby and I met through church friends, haha. Another church couple. But we were just acquaintances for five years and reconnected via myspace. So we started our actual friendship online.

  40. NotJustAnotherJennifer says:

    One of my friends met her hubby online around then, too. It was on a dating site, though, and at the time, that was fairly new, and people completely mocked it. (I have several friends who married people they met that way since then, and it’s not a big deal.) They told their families they met on the airplane. My husband and I met through a mutual friend, so nothing odd there. The interesting part of our story is that we dated for a year and a half, broke up, started dating again 8 years later and got married a year and a half after that – almost exactly 11 years after we met.

  41. Hatton says:

    I think that’s adorable! It’s crazy how technology has impacted relationships (and i think in a good way). I met my husband in high school and stayed in touch through college and dated 9 years after we met – I started writing our story on my blog! http://www.freshmom.com/2012/mom-style/our-love-story-part-1/

  42. Mindi says:

    Too funny! Love how you met your wife and what you told your parents. I met my husband finals week my junior year of college. We lived in the same dorm area for 2 years and worked in the same dining hall but never crossed paths. Of course it was finals week and we lived in two different states! He made the drive every weekend to come visit me all summer long and we fell crazy in love! :) Now almost 9 years happily married with 2 kids later I wouldn’t have changed anything.

  43. faith says:

    My hubby and I met because my cousin and his best friend got married and we were maid of honor and best man at the wedding :)

  44. Kitalia says:

    I met my husband at a volunteer function when we were 12 and 14, we were both homeschooled and ended up in the same co-op and 4-H club. We started dating when we were 15 and 17 and got married as soon as I passed the graduation exam when we were 17 and 19. Our first conversation started when we were building a chicken coop and he was holding the chicken so I could nail it in place, I missed and hit his thumb. I started crying because I felt bad for hurting him, and he freaked out because I was crying. We started talking every day after that, but it was an entire year, and a couple of crushes later before I realized he liked me. Once I gave up on stupid rock based crushes he asked me out and the rest is history. :)

  45. Jaina says:

    That’s funny, but I really did meet my husband at church!

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