How the Vrinch Stole Valentine's DayWhit Honea
I must admit, I am something of a cynic when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I tend to blame my wife, as she wants nothing to do with the holiday. She insists that I don’t get her anything, and when I break down and sneak her flowers, candies, or other festive trappings of the day, she only says a quick thank you before scolding me on my purchase.
That’s not to say that we aren’t romantic. If I were to bring her flowers, a card, or a box of random chocolate-covered stuffs on any other day of the year it would make Nicolas Sparks weep openly; however, doing so because I have been told I must? That doesn’t float her boat.
But it isn’t all her doing. I have also lost interest in Valentine’s Day. The holiday has become a monster, and it is eating itself (because monsters also love chocolate).
I saw a comment on Facebook today calling someone “the Vrinch” for pointing fingers at Hallmark, candy companies, and anyone that has ever promised a rose garden—basically insinuating that they were trying to steal Valentine’s Day from all the Whos in Whoville busily stuffing their cars with all the heart-shaped balloons that they can carry, and I nearly chocked on my cupcake.
That’s pretty funny.
I suppose the real heart of the matter (see what I did there?) is that my wife and I spent years working together in the service industry, and other people, the customers, ruined whatever was left of Valentine’s Day for us. Thanks, random citizens.
You see, more than once we spent the evening (a night when people who never eat out line up to eat out) waiting on those that equate dinner to foreplay, and frankly, it left a mark. People, and you may want to sit down for this, can be idiots.
It is my personal belief that one can only watch aspiring Casanovas fight over tables, scream at servers, and get to second base on a barstool so many times before one starts to lose the romantic notions of Valentine’s Day.
On the bright side, we save a fortune on greeting cards.
These days we view Valentine’s Day as a special treat for the kids. They get to express their happiness over classmates and friendships, eat enough candy to hold them over till Easter, and open a card containing five bucks from Nana. They think it is fun, and we have fun with them.
This morning the boys each received a small box of chocolates covered in pirates and panda bears, and they carefully cradled a plate full of holiday-themed cookies to their respective classroom parties. I can only assume that they will come home full of sugar and spend the next two hours showing me each little card from every little friend, and applying whatever meaning that they feel is appropriate. That seems like a good way to spend Valentine’s Day, and I am looking forward to it.
Maybe we’ll get some takeout.
Read more from Whit Honea at his site Honea Express and the popular group blog DadCentric. You can follow Whit on the Twitter or Pinterest (his opinions are his own and do not reflect those of Babble or most rational people).