I Built My Holiday Shopping List from Spam Emails!

Image Source:

We all love spam right? I’m not talking about the canned meat, mind you. I’m talking about 80%+ of the emails that you get on a daily basis. As one of my big presents for the holidays, I would just LOVE to NOT get any more spam! Please, just make it go away, ok?

But, until we get to that point, we are going to have to endure, delete and work around spammy emails. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t look at them more than just the title. I rarely read the content. So I thought that it would be interesting to see what type of a Holiday Gift List, I could come up with if I WERE to order solely from the spam emails that I get.

What you see in the images below are actual spam emails that I have received. I simply took a screen shot of them and, NO, I didn’t actually order any of those things. Think of the horror that I would go through if I did. Somewhere in this world, there are a bunch of “Santas” in the basement of some apartment building somewhere, with dirty beards, holes in their jolly red coats who are just chuckling as they blast out 10 of thousands of emails, hoping to get that last minute crazed shopper who thinks they have found the deal of a lifetime.

It’s pretty amusing actually.

So, here is what my Spam Email Holiday List consists of. I hope you enjoy it! And don’t worry, you can’t click on the images so you won’t be spammed! And, so that you are NOT confused, yes, these are actual real live pictures of spam and junk email below (it’s not your browser being hijack by really bad advertising).

  • #1 – Enlargement of your 1 of 10
    #1 - Enlargement of your
    A "bigger" gift is a "better" gift, right? Give the man you love some "maximization" power!
  • #2 – Cash to Buy Extra Gifts 2 of 10
    #2 - Cash to Buy Extra Gifts
    It's the holidays, so why not spend WAY beyond your means! Get some cash a shady lender so that you can worry about your credit for years to come!
  • #3 – Give the Gift that Burns Fat 3 of 10
    #3 - Give the Gift that Burns Fat
    Of course, you could always pour some grease in a pan and set it on fire. That accomplishes pretty much the same thing, right?
  • #4 – A Bra the Delivers 4 of 10
    #4 - A Bra the Delivers
    While you may have "burned that fat" with the previous gift, this one lets you showcase without wires to "eliminate rolls".
  • #5 – A Rolex at Toy Store Prices 5 of 10
    #5 - A Rolex at Toy Store Prices
    Pssst! Wanna buy a Rolex! It's real! And it costs just a few bucks. (I've got a bridge for sale too if you want one!)
  • #6 – Money from London 6 of 10
    #6 - Money from London
    Wow! With 1,000,000 GBP, I could buy everyone at work, in the family and my neighborhood something really cool!
  • #7 – McMoney for You! 7 of 10
    #7 - McMoney for You!
    I've been McPrinting McBills to buy some McGifts for McXmas!
  • #8 – From Russia with Love 8 of 10
    #8 - From Russia with Love
    Actually, I'm not sure if this is Russian or what this says, I just like the pretty text colors!
  • #9 – Golf Clothes to Improve your Game 9 of 10
    #9 - Golf Clothes to Improve your Game
    So, if I get this shirt for someone, their game will improve? Great! What a gift! Wonder if they have these clothes for other sports or activities!
  • #10 – Mail Order Brides 10 of 10
    #10 - Mail Order Brides
    Who wouldn't want a "hot single"...oh wait, I'm married. But I could get one for everyone else on my holiday gift list!

What types of things do you order from email spam? I hope NOTHING! But someone is, otherwise it wouldn’t be happening! For some other amusing gifts you might NOT want to get your loved ones, be sure to check out my article: “12 Gifts NOT to Give on the 12 Days of Christmas“.

Read more of Michael’s writing at
And don’t miss a post! Follow Michael on Twitter (@HighTechDad)!


Article Posted 4 years Ago
share this article
facebook twitter tumblr pinterest
See Comments
what do you think?
share this article
facebook twitter tumblr pinterest
See Comments
what do you think?
what do you think?
close comments
Subscribe to the
Welcome to
Sign Out
Follow us on