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Messiness: BBQ Sauce, Mail, Rugs, and Addie

I have certain things in the fridge that are designated mine. Nobody else’s, just MINE.  The family knows what these items are and, if they want me to share, than they know they must abide by certain rules in order to do so.

They know that using my items in the fridge isn’t an every day occasion. Also any time those items are used, they must be used in moderation.

One example is my bottle of real maple syrup.

Casey came home with real maple syrup for the first time about two years ago. She waltzed in from Trader Joes and practically shoved the bottle in my face, bragging about how she bought the good stuff.  I asked her how much it cost and when she told me, I freaked out.  I lectured kindly explained to her that we aren’t those types of people. We don’t need any fancy maple syrup. We’ve been getting along just fine with our cheap $2.50 per bottle fake loaded with high fructose corn syrup.

Then I tried the real maple syrup and it was like the taste buds in my mouth were reborn. I couldn’t believe how good it tasted. It was incredible, but I couldn’t admit to Casey how much I liked the stuff. Once the initial bottle was gone, I started sneaking real maple syrup into the fridge.

It took about a year before Casey realized I had my own private stash of maple syrup. She apparently saw me drinking syrup straight out of the bottle one night—something like that anyway. I will neither confirm nor deny whether I drink real maple syrup from the bottle.

But this just tells you how seriously I take my stash.

One of my other items in the fridge is my barbeque sauce from Squealers, and it is just as beloved as my real maple syrup. Squealers is my favorite restaurant because it makes my favorite meat — St. Louis style pork ribs. Today, Addie decided to break all my rules so she could use my barbeque sauce.

After spending the evening at the gym working off all those sips of real maple syrup from the bottle, I headed upstairs to take a shower.  I told Addie to turn on some Phineas & Ferb while I was showering and that I would make some dinner as soon as I was finished.

Well, I came downstairs to find a plate full of my barbeque sauce on the counter. Addie had microwaved a piece of chicken and she had dumped 3/4 of my barbeque sauce on her plate.

I was furious and I soon learned that things were far worse than I had imagined. I began putting some salads together and as I pulled items out of the fridge I noticed that the cheese bag, the Caesar dressing, and the lemonade bottle, all located in very different spots in the fridge, were covered in barbeque sauce.  All kinds of things in the fridge were just sitting there, covered in my favorite barbeque sauce.

Eventually I made it over to the table and discovered barbeque sauce all over the kitchen rug, on three separate chairs, on the mail, and spread over about half the table.

What is it with kids and their colossal messes? I swear Addie has this ability to take something that should be a pretty minor mess and turn it into a 45 minute clean-up affair.

Casey has told me I’m not allowed to ground Addie from food, but she is definitely grounded from my barbeque sauce.

Read more about my family on Moosh in Indy or follow me on Twitter!

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More on Dadding:

Top 10 Sitcom Style TV Moms

A Daddy Daughter Date to the Humane Society

Surprise: A Random Birthday Discussion with Addie

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