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Pregnancy Crazies And The Flying Box of Crackers

I’ve always been kind of a cheapskate. My wife didn’t really know what she was getting into when she married me.

My parents didn’t buy name-brand items. When we went to the grocery store we bought Western Family cans of pork-n-beans. Kraft Macaroni & Cheese? No sir. Pass the Western Family Macaroni and Cheese.

All of my parents’ cars were pre-owned and that was always good enough for them. My highschool truck was a pass-me-down 1973 Chevy that my grandfather had owned. When I was 15-years-old and a passenger in that truck my dad stopped at one of his friend’s houses. His friend started teasing him about how rusty that old 1973 truck was. My dad shrugged it off and in an attempt to prove just how tough that truck was, he kicked the door. He had expected the door to hold true and keep his foot from protruding through the rusty metal,  instead his foot punched a hole right through it.

Hole or no hole, I didn’t mind that my truck was built in 1973 and covered in rust.  That’s how we were all raised and that’s how I expected to raise my family. Casey was raised a differently, however, and our two styles of living clashed right after we got married.

I don’t know how many fights Casey and I have had about whether we should be buying name-brand products or knock-offs, but the worst one happened when Casey was pregnant with Addie.

I first have to admit that I was kind of a jerk when Casey was pregnant with Addie. Well, there’s no real kind of about it. I didn’t really comprehend what she was going through as a pregnant woman, and I expected her to, well, deal with it. For any future husbands/fathers out there, that’s not the attitude to bring to a pregnancy.

One day in the middle of Casey’s pregnancy, I saw some name-brand products on the counter. I don’t even remember what it was, but it kind of set me off. I went upstairs and asked Casey why she was buying name-brand products, but she claimed she had only bought knock-offs. Things escalated from there and she decided to prove to me that she hadn’t violated my no name-brand rule.

I followed her into the kitchen as she started pulling boxes of crackers out of the cupboards. She was screaming at me because all the items she was pulling out of the cupboard were knock-offs. That’s not how the fight ended, however. She started throwing the boxes of crackers at me as she screamed.

I just stood there helpless like the idiot I was and that’s when it clicked. There is a time and place to worry about such stupid things as buying name-brand products. It became very clear, very quickly that it’s not a good time to worry about a few name-brand products in the house when your wife is pregnant.

We both think back to that day and laugh. If Casey was able to go back in time and observe one moment in our marriage as an invisible third party, that would probably be the moment she would choose. Something about a wife going berserk throwing boxes of crackers at her husband makes her laugh.

Read more about my family on Moosh in Indy or follow me on Twitter!

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More on Dadding:

Daycare: The Inevitable Sickness that Follows

The 10 Weirdest Things I’ve Seen in the Men’s Locker Room

Backfire: The Not-so-crafty Non-Response

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