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Pregnancy Weight is Ugly

Charlie and his wife. One has gained weight unnecessarilyI wrote an article when my wife was pregnant that got some looks like this (ಠ_ಠ) as well as a few other “reactions” that aren’t fit to print. I submit for my post your review, here and now, so you can have a go…

I know, I know. I’m not going to be popular when I say this, but a hefty load of pregnancy weight isn’t attractive. I’m sorry. It isn’t. The cheeks swell, shoelace indentations appear across your feet and you end up looking like 10 pounds of fat stuffed in a five-pound bag.

But you have to believe me, I’m trying to lose the weight. I just have a lot going on right now.

There’s something captivating and otherworldly about pregnant women to me. Preggo women look like glowing, ripe fruit. They have something beaming and hiccupping inside them! But me, I just look like an overgrown, post-pubescent nerd/hobo compared to the immaculately-conceived sitting next to me.

And I love the term “sympathy weight” (of which I gained 35 sympathizing pounds).

This is how conversations went when people met my wife while she was with child, “Oh, wow how many months are you? You look so beautiful. (LONG PAUSE) Uhhhhh…” And that last syllable was the sound they made when I walked up as if to imply “I think you have a large, color-blind hippo behind to you.”

But the story has a good ending though. I quit eating sugar on January 1st of last year and lost a bunch of the weight. But the hunger… It remains…

Epilogue

I managed to drop about 60 pounds after my sumo weight status. It was rough and I cried. But I managed it. You might see the results in tomorrow’s post. Stay tuned…

 

Read more of Charlie & Andy’s blabbing at HowToBeADad.com.
And don’t miss them make fools of themselves on social media! Follow them on Facebook and Twitter!


 

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