Most of the dads I know will read that title and go, “Well, duh!” Surprisingly though, some of you have told me you’ve never changed a diaper! A few said it with an air of manly pride, and others confessed it a bit more sheepishly. You have never changed a diaper? Really?
How is that even possible? It must mean you have never been alone with your child. What did you do; wait for mommy to come home and save you from your stinky fate? Or did you recruit some innocent bystander to do the dirty deed? We’re still talking diapers here.
Even if it were possible, why would you avoid it? Yeah, okay… other than that. How bad can it possibly be? Strike that question, too. It can be pretty darned bad; but dude, in war you’d throw yourself on a grenade to save your buddies without a second thought! I think you can handle a poopy diaper.
Ah, so now the truth rears its ugly head… er, bottom? It’s not really fear of that toxic waste found in even the loveliest child’s diaper; it’s a role thing. Diaper changing is a woman’s job, right? Your dad never changed a diaper, and you turned out just fine. Okay, mostly fine. Well, not that bad.
Look, I’m not saying you’re a knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing troglodyte; okay, maybe I am saying that just a little. But I’m not suggesting you turn into some sort of metrosexual either; and no, that doesn’t mean gay. Bottom line, real men change diapers. They always have, and they always will.
If you already change diapers, that’s great, but don’t expect any Dad of the Year award just yet. Let’s do some math. Most newborns use about 8 to 12 diapers a day; and you change how many? Baby steps (pun intended). Even if you changed just 2 more, you’ll probably not equal your wife’s count, right?
Oh, and one other thing… correct this imbalance a little bit, and your wife will thank you for it. And to be clear, by “thank you” I mean… well, you know what I mean.