Strange, Hilarious, and Awesome Ways To Transport Kids (PHOTOS)Serge Bielanko
Now that both of my kids have outgrown riding around on daddy’s chest or on his back in one of my carriers, I miss it a lot.
Gone are the days when I could wear my baby girl like a Flavor Flav medallion all over the grocery store, beautiful women smiling the purest of smiles at the bearded man with the sweetie in the Bjorn. But, it’s just as well I expect since the dude from The Hangover pretty much shattered that fragile brief 5 or 6 year period there where dads and their pack full of baby seemed cool.
Now people just think of a Zach Garalfinkinklifakis.
But still, oh how I loved it. And I suspect that most dads that did it, or still get to do it love it too. Having your young baby or toddler right there against your beer gut or your aching back as you walk around the mall or the park or just haul the dog down the road so he can unload on a distant neighbor’s front yard: it absolutely makes you two feel closer.
I’d even go so far as to say, it was one of my favorite things about new fatherhood.
So, I decided to throw together a little tribute to the charming art of kid hauling by highlighting some of the most eccentric, funny, and just plain cool scenes I could come across. After all, let’s admit it: it’s funny as hell to see pictures of kiddos hitchin’ a ride in really crazy/brilliant/and whacked-out ways
Anyway, I hope you dig them.
Oh and by the way, if you just carried your little one in his or her carrier this morning or yesterday afternoon then I have to admit it: I am really jealous.
My two year old won’t even ride the stagecoach seat in the shopping cart anymore.
Breaks my heart.
Baby in a Bag? 1 of 15Click through to see some unique ways to get your little one out and about...
What the…??! 2 of 15Do you think this carrier seems a bit freaky? If you do, then you and I are on the same page. But hey, the little one looks warm and happy, so who are we to judge, right? But still.
Ummm…Is This Yoga? 3 of 15Wow. This little fella is either going to wake up from his stroll with an epic back problem or he is made out of Gummi Worm stuff. Funny picture though.
Take-Out? 4 of 15I toyed with the idea of not showing this picture because I was worried that maybe it sent the wrong message. But then I thought to myself, "Of course it sends the wrong message...that's why it's so clever and funny!" I mean, the little kid looks fine, even, dare I say, content? I'm sorry but this picture makes me laugh...probably because it is the best picture ever taken!
The Bookshelf 5 of 15Ha! At first glance, I thought this backpack had to be a joke, or some kind of a last resort, but that just shows how much I know. Turns out that over in China wooden child carriers are really common...because they are comfortable and work really well. And personally speaking, I also like that it gives the kids a sort of 'Antiques Roadshow' vibe.
Special Delivery! 6 of 15This vintage shot says it all when it comes to being a mailman's kid, huh?
Lost in the Satchel 7 of 15This one has special meaning to me because that's my wife and daughter up there! My Violet was only a few months old when we tried to figure out if she would fit in this satchel carrier to tote her around in. But she was so small that she just sunk inside like a coconut in the bottom of a shopping bag. So we propped her up for one cute picture and then promptly never used the satchel again.
Future Gardeners of America 8 of 15This one takes the prize for kids looking the most comfortable. Some pics get staged by 'creative' parents, but I'm pretty certain this one is the real deal, with real live wheelbarrow relaxers.
Classic 9 of 15This one isn't really hilarious or weird or anything, but I do find it kind of awesome. I love how the picture of this Native American mother and her daughter riding in the papoose on her back captures the coolest elements of carrying your kid on your back or your chest. They can see the world from up there, and they feel you right there with them (and you feel them with you). And most of all, parent and child are inseparable, attatched at the hip, so to speak, for at least a little while. And that's a good thing, I think.
The Floating Bambino 10 of 15This picture looks like it might have been taken back around Biblical times,doesn't it? I guess that just proves that this pretty inventive way of lugging the kiddo around has probably been around for a long long time. I wonder if it's time for this one to make a huge comeback?
Oh No You Didn’t! 11 of 15Okay, look closely here. You see it? Yup: that looks pretty much like a newborn's head down there in that purse, right? Oh my.
Stylin’ 12 of 15What's this??!! Oh, it's just a dad chaufeurring his son around in a super cool custom front car that attaches to a special sort of bike and which just so happens to have a KILLER WARPLANE SHARK MOTIF!!! Man, all I can think of when I see that thing is that, even in high school, I bet I could have gotten so many girl's phone numbers with a ride like that. (Sigh.)
Another Bag Boy 13 of 15I don't know whether that first bagged kid has a fan club or just spawned a bunch of rip-off artists. Heck, I don't even know for sure that THIS kid wasn't the original Bag Boy! But I do know one thing: a slideshow with two Bag Boys is way way better than a slideshow with just one.
Baby Throne 14 of 15Oh man, this picture is just superb in so many ways. But mostly I keep thinking about how that little one looks really comfy, like the Princess of the World. And then I keep thinking that that dad's arms are about to be sliced clean off at the shoulder by that nasty looking old-school red New Yorker shoelace.
The Best 15 of 15It's funny to see how clever or 'un-clever' some parents are when it comes to toting around their children; some are ridiculous, some are inspiring.Yet one thing will always remain true and that is this: if you are out there in the world toting your kids around with you, letting them experience life as it is meant to be experienced, seeing people and experiencing places and just walking down streets or trails with each other, then I commend you. Because we'll never ever regret any of it, huh?
You can also find Serge on his personal blog, Thunder Pie.
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