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Texas Governor May Have Addiction to HPV Vaccine

Being a parent in Texas with stepdaughters, my wife and I tend to keep track of such things.

Governor Rick Perry

AUSTIN, Texas—A former staffer working for Governor Rick Perry’s election campaign is claiming the presidential hopeful regularly injects himself with the HPV Vaccine. In a phone interview with TMZ, the campaign worker, who wished to remain anonymous, told the reputable news agency that they had witnessed Governor Perry using syringes filled with the HPV vaccine, also known as Gardasil, on numerous occasions.

Asked to comment on the allegations of chronic HPV vaccine use, Governor Perry issued a statement denouncing the claim as being “absolutely false.” However, sources close to the election staff did confirm that the Governor does possess several boxes containing free samples of Gardasil which he received as part of campaign donations made by Merck, the pharmaceutical company that manufactures the vaccine.

The anonymous source went on to say that often Governor Perry typically injected himself just prior to various public speaking events. In light of this news, political pundits are speculating that this may have had something to do with Governor Perry’s now infamous memory lapse during a televised presidential debate as well as his strange behavior as he delivered a speech to a group of New Hampshire conservatives.

Perry’s fellow presidential contenders were quick to use this news to their advantage. Congresswoman Michelle Bachman, who has been vocal on Perry’s Texas mandate requiring young people to receive the vaccination, told reporters, “I think this is the smoking gun that proves the HPV vaccine actually can cause mental retardation.” Bachman’s assertion is in reference to her post-debate interview this past September when she cited this as a side effect of the vaccine, despite the absence of facts to support this.

Campaigning in Delaware, Senator Rick Santorum said of the news, simply, “The wicked shall perish, and that includes all drug users, and those with STDs.”

Herman Cain, who has displayed several memory lapses of his own on issues related to Libyan foreign policy and to sexual harassment charges, became suddenly defensive when asked at a fundraising luncheon in Los Angles if the pizza titan/Republican candidate had been sharing needles with Governor Perry. “Of course I don’t. What kind of a question is that?” Cain shot back. “Listen, don’t you think if I had been using the HPV vaccine I would’ve remembered and admitted to it? I’ve got nothing to hide here.”

The HPV vaccine, Gardasil, made by Merck

Not everyone was critical of the allegations, however. Earlier this week, FOX and Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson praised Governor Perry saying, “If this is true, if the Texas Governor actually did inject himself with Gardasil, that I think that shows he has real courage to take a risk like that. I mean, if Bruce Banner had exposed himself to radiation we wouldn’t have the Incredible Hulk to protect this great nation; so, maybe with Perry we’ll get a super president who cures cancer. When’s the last time Obama did that? Huh? That just proves the myth of universal health care.”

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Human papillomavirus or HPV is the most common sexually transmitted virus in the United States, and it has been known to cause several types of cancer. In 2007, Governor Rick Perry signed an executive order mandating Texas girls be vaccinated for HPV.

 

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