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The Art of a Dad as a Temporary Single Parent, Take 4

I’m currently in the middle of a four day stint as a temporary single parent. Casey is in San Diego doing the things she does and I’m back here making sure Addie gets to school on time and that Vivi makes it to daycare before I have to be at work.

The past few times Casey has left town and left Vivi and Addie in my care, I’ve complained a bit about how difficult it is to pick Vivi up from day care. Casey, however, hasn’t bought my complaints.

This 28.6 pound baby is awfully pushy when she gets hungry and that’s my main beef with the situation. I go through the sad routine of taking Vivi to daycare and setting her down in the room full of other 1 year-olds as I turn and leave my little girl in the care of complete strangers (strangers to me anyway). And when my day at work is done I head to the daycare and pick up Vivi. That’s when the fun starts.

As soon as we get in the car the kid begins to lose her mind because she’s hungry. By the time we get home, which is only a five minute drive, Vivi is in full-on snorts coupled with choking sounds and crocodile style tears. Once I pull Vivi out of the back seat of the car I have exactly 30 seconds to get acceptable food into her belly or she’s going to let me have it with her high pitch handheld air horn like scream. There’s no time to pick up Addie from wherever she happened to have spent her after-school afternoon. There’s no time to throw a pre-cooked meal in the oven. There’s not even enough time to throw some food in the microwave. The baby demands food RIGHT NOW.

The day before Casey left for San Diego, I told her I was in trouble because there wasn’t any food in the house that could be handed straight to Vivi. Casey laughed and started pointing at all the frozen meals that could be put in the oven and heated up in thirty minutes or so. I’m pretty sure the exact word that came out of my mouth was, “Pffft.”

For the last two days I’ve bought food from restaurants before I’ve picked up Vivi in hopes of meeting that baby’s demand. On Thursday after daycare, Vivi quickly ate 3 slices of pizza, 3 bread sticks, 3 cups of watermelon, and about a cup of veggie straws. Even after all that food, Vivi still demanded more. On Friday after daycare the baby ate 6 chicken nugget thingies from KFC, 3/4 of a large side of macaroni and cheese, 2 large scoops of mashed potatoes, a biscuit, a cup of watermelon, and another cup of veggie straws. Again, Vivi was demanding more before she went to bed.

At some point I need to come up with some random trip to somewhere in the world when Casey has to be at some in-town conference so she’ll have to drop Vivi off at daycare and then pick her up again at the end of the day. Everyone in this family needs the opportunity to hear that baby’s air-horn esque demands for food.

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The Weirdest Food Combinations I Eat as Declared by My Wife

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