The Fear of Preferring One Child Over the OtherCody
Sometimes I worry that Addie feels like she is the second favorite child. It has been something I have worried about over the past several months. The excitement of having a new member of the family and wanting to play with that new member of the family hasn’t gone unnoticed by Addie.
As Addie has grown up and gotten bigger, it has been harder and harder to do the same activities with her. She’s just too big and gangly to throw up into the air like I used to do and she has her own interests now that don’t always involve playing games with me.
Because we don’t spend as much of that play time together anymore, I’ve worried that Addie will believe that I have moved on to Vivi, since it might seem like I prefer Vivi over Addie. Then, a few weekends ago while Casey and Vivi were in Utah, Addie confirmed my fears.
Addie told me while we were on our daddy/daughter date that she was glad we were able to hang out together without Vivi. She explained that it was nice to be the favorite child again since she just knew that I loved Vivi more than her. I’m not exactly a sensitive guy with most things, but that statement flat out hurt. My fears had become reality.
I asked Addie why she felt that I liked Vivi more than her and Addie told me it was because I only wanted to play with Vivi. I didn’t throw Addie up in the air anymore, and I didn’t hang her upside down by her ankles like I used to do to her before Vivi was born.
I made a silent commitment that I would do more to show Addie that I love her just as much as I love Vivi. It may be difficult to throw her in the air and it may be difficult to hang her upside down by her gangly legs, but having Addie understand that she is just as loved is worth the effort.
More on Dadding: