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The Top 7 Old School Snacks for Kids

I’ve got a serious thing against snacks. Well, not the food itself, per se. Just the sheer quantity of snacks. The all-encompassing omnipresence of them.

Yes, most of the snack foods for kids are probably a lot healthier than they were when we were kids — baby carrots, apple wedges, some weird organic fruit squeeze pouches — but just how many snacks do kids need? I swear you can’t hold a kid event nowadays without having a snack on the way to it, a snack during it, and then a goodbye snack after it.

Seriously? Kids can survive an hour without food.

But all that said …

I went to a birthday party the other day, and one of the parents whipped out a cooler filled with icy cold Capri Suns, and it occurred to me that I haven’t had a pouch drink in literally decades. My poor daughter didn’t even know how to put the straw in.

What else, I wondered, has she been missing?

Oddly, in an age when more snacks seem available and served all. the. time., parents have simultaneously sucked the joy out of snack time. Maybe five less servings of organic, sugar-free, protein-rich, gluten-free after school specials could mean one more, say, Zinger?

The party got me thinking of my favorite childhood snacks, the ones that parents nowadays have declared verboten. I haven’t seen these in ages, and, frankly, in some circles, you’d be ostracized for even thinking of serving them. But please, think of the children. I bet they’d love them. At least maybe once a year …

If it’s time for a crap food comeback, here’s my Top 7 Old School Snacks.

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  • Capri Sun 1 of 7
    Capri Sun
    At the birthday party, a couple kids turned up their granola eating noses at the pouch sugar, while the adults huddled around the ice chest like it was opening day at the new methadone clinic. Three cheers for old school!
    Photo Credit: Kraft
  • Twinkies 2 of 7
    Twinkies
    Ah yes, the Hostess miracle food. I have so many fond memories of wrapping up baseball games with a Twinkie and a Capri Sun to wash it down. Mmm, power food.
    Photo Credit: Hostess
  • Ho Hos 3 of 7
    Ho Hos
    Ho-Hos, Suzie-Qs, Ding Dongs, Zingers. It's almost impossible to write a story like this without getting them all out of the way. Sadly, my daughter has yet to enjoy the wonder of a Ho Ho or a Zinger. That needs to change.
    Photo Credit: Hostess
  • Fruit Roll Ups 4 of 7
    Fruit Roll Ups
    Are these even food? Squashed fruit ...ish paste sugar. But good lord, were they delicious. Nowadays, any fruitish product has to be organic whatever.
    Photo Credit: Family.go.com
  • Squeeze Its! 5 of 7
    Squeeze Its!
    I'm sure these things have a thousand names. While my wife has no memories of these at all, I would go crazy with glee to find them again. Basically, it was some form of sugar syrup concoction in a plastic bottle made to look like a real glass bottle, complete with some weird twist off top thingy. I'm pretty sure the bottle even said, "Not good for you. Like, at all." But whatever. Once in a while never hurt anyone's long term ... mem ... brai ... something. I forget.
    Photo Credit: Awesomehq.com
  • Bag o’ chips 6 of 7
    Bag o' chips
    Remember before pre-packaged baby carrots when your parents would let you pick a small-size bag of Doritos or Cheetohs in those honking big variety packs? I always got stuck with stupid potato chips, because my brothers would take the good stuff ....
    Photo Credit: Walmart
  • Cookies 7 of 7
    Cookies
    Whatever happened to plain ol' fashioned chocolate chip cookies? I haven't seen one of those at an after-sport pow wow in ages. Bring back the cookie!
    Photo Credit: Ghirardelli

Mike Adamick writes at Cry It Out!

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