I can remember many, many arguments with my mom that ended with her grrr-ing in frustration. She was constantly yelling at me to stop arguing with her. It was like my desire to argue with her was the bane of her existence and would eventually do her in.
I didn’t understand why she got so frustrated with me. In my mind I wasn’t arguing with her, I was just stating the facts in a fairer manner. It wasn’t fair, in my mind, not to be able to present the facts as I saw them. It didn’t matter if my facts were completely irrelevant to the argument—I needed to be able to get my side out before I could be satisfied with any punishment that was given or chores that were assigned.
I’m now getting my payback. Addie is a master at arguing the most irrelevant facts and it drives me crazy. Sometimes I think that I spend half of my conversations with her dismissing her irrelevant arguments and begging her to stop arguing with me.
The other night she wanted to have an apple as a snack right before bed. It’s usually fine if she wants an apple right before bed, but that night I only had two apples left and I knew I needed those two apples for the next day. Instead, I told Addie she could have a yogurt before bed, but that wasn’t the end of it for her. She had to go on and on about how quickly she could eat those little apples, and that her mom had bought those apples for her and Vivi, so she could eat an apple.
Everything she stated was true, but it had nothing to do with the reason she couldn’t have an apple that particular night before bed. As she was spouting off the reasons she should be able to have an apple, I was trying to calm Vivi who was beyond tired from her lack of a nap while at daycare that day. Meaning, I was way past my point of frustration.
These non-stop arguments with Addie occur in the double-digit figures throughout a typical day, and as frustrating as it can be to listen to the arguments, I have to sigh and realize that I was just as bad, and probably worse, for my mother. Plus, the kid’s pretty clever at thinking outside the box and, as a lawyer, there’s a part of me that is extremely proud of her and hopes that she never stops.
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