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How to Have the TALK with your Daughter: 5 Tips for Dads From a Real Teenager

Having_The_TalkIf you’re a single dad, then you probably find yourself having to act as both dad and mom in certain moments. Especially if you’re the dad of a daughter, there are certain subjects that inevitably have to be broached as she enters adolescence; and, of course, some of these subjects are not so easy to talk about.

The King Daddy of all dad-daughter uncomfortable topics, of course, is known as THE TALK — the birds and the bees talk. We asked a 15-year-old girl for HER opinion — how should a single dad go about initiating this kind of heavy discussion?

Her words: “Seriously?” she asked. “You want to know? Hmm.”

1. Speak in Plain English, Please.
“First of all, don’t ever say ‘birds and bees.’ Do not use . . . what’re they called? Euphemisms? Do not use euphemisms at all. Oh, that is so embarrassing — you know, when adults say things like, ‘When a Mommy sheep and a Daddy sheep love each other very much’ and all that sort of stuff. Don’t talk about farm animals and don’t talk about flowers getting pollinated. If you’re going to talk about sex, and that is what you’re going to be talking about, then just talk about it. Not in euphemisms. But like, in clinical terms. Be like a doctor telling someone where their spleen is.”

2. Just the facts.
“Don’t talk about feelings. That’s a different discussion, right? Stick to the body parts. Pretend you have a lab coat on.”

3. Take Baby Steps.
“You have to start having this conversation at, like, age 10. Have it in lots of stages. Get more detailed as time goes on. Don’t try to explain everything in one conversation; that’s just not reasonable.”

4. Show Her You Trust Her.
“Don’t have the discussion because you’re afraid that if you don’t, she’s gonna run out and do something you don’t want her to do. You should have the discussion with the attitude that you trust her to make the right decision and that you’re just giving her information. By age 14, she already either has good values or not. You should trust her.”

5. Make it Casual.
“Do not ‘sit down’ and have the talk. Maybe stand up. Or walk. But don’t sit. Definitely don’t sit.”

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