Ever since the Mary Poppins 50th Anniversary Edition came out on Blu-Ray and DVD, we’ve been watching what is obviously an iconic classic over and over again.
And singing “Let’s Go Fly A Kite.” And re-enacting “Step In Time.” Again, over and over again.
The repeat button has arguably become the most popular button on our remote, as we’re all perfectly happy to do nothing more than romp through the Edwardian Britishness that is Number Seventeen, Cherry Tree Lane and the magical nanny that comes with it.
Then, while watching it for the eleventieth time, it occurred to me that Mary Poppins is totally a Doctor Who Time Lord. Secretly, of course. She might even be The Doctor in some kind of regeneration that hasn’t even been documented. And had Matt Smith not already returned as Peter Capaldi, I’d be half expecting to see a glimpse of Julie Andrews’ dreamy peaches-and-cream visage somewhere in there.
Think about it. Because it’s completely plausible. Mainly because of these 12 truths:
The Mary Poppins as Time Lord Theory. 1 of 13
Makes practically perfect sense.
She’s British 2 of 13
An obvious Time Lord requisite since every single one of them since the dawn of time of space has been very English.
She wears a bowtie 3 of 13
As does the 11th doctor. Pity she doesn't pair it with his signature fez (fezzes are cool), but still.
She has a TARDIS … sort of 4 of 13
Much like the police call box turned time-traveling TARDIS in Dr. Who, Mary Poppins' trusty carpet bag is bigger on the inside.
She wears a scarf 5 of 13
It's not striped like the Fourth Doctor's long knitted number, but she styles it just the same.
She helps people in need 6 of 13
Mary Poppins has a way of flying into people's lives when they need her most. Like all of the Doctors. But especially the 11th. Because he's my favorite and Amelia Pond slayed me as she sat there in her little wellies just waiting for him to come and spirit her away.
She never stays very long 7 of 13
Every time the wind changes, Mary Poppins is off on another adventure. Because, you know. Other times and places and alternate dimensions and worlds need her. Can we just start calling her the 13th Doctor now?
She has a sonic screwdriver … sort of 8 of 13
Anyone else think that parrot umbrella can do more than just talk? Guarantee you it transforms into a sonic screwdriver - a fantastically functional tool of awesome that can pick locks, perform medical scans, control remote devices and track alien life.
She can communicate with all kinds of creatures 9 of 13
Andrew the adorable sweater-wearing dog, carousel horses, penguins, birds - Mary Poppins is all Disney Princess polish and Time Lordian know-how wrapped into one perfectly-coiffed caretaker with a beautiful singing voice and shiny teeth. Time Lords can communicate with everyone, be they animal, mineral or vegetable, and I think we can all agree this magical nanny would absolutely not be an exception.
She has a bunch of whacked-out friends 10 of 13
Uncle Albert, Bert, dancing penguins, those leather-and-stud-clad animated characters that sing "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?" All questionable and ultimately fantastic, just like the Doctors' menagerie of misfit companions.
She’s always ready for adventure 11 of 13
Dancing on the rooftops of London, a tea party on the ceiling, throwing down in a carousel horse race - Mary Poppins always has her eye on adventure, just like every single Doctor who has ever existed across time and space. Traveling is in their nature - hence Time Lord - and it's that constant nomadic exploration across realms that makes their double heartbeat flutter.
She travels through time and space 12 of 13
Traveling through time and space by popping in and out of chalk pictures. Only Mary Poppins could pull that off. You know it's true, considering no Time Lord has figured that one out yet, since the TARDIS is their main source of transport. Not surprising that Mary Poppins may be ahead of the time-bending curve. Those fingers aren't just for cleaning up the nursery in a snap you know. Just imagine what would happen if she clapped?!
She falls in love with humans 13 of 13
Jane, Michael, Bert, Mr. Banks - it's like she inherently knows that we're capable of so much good... with just a little prompting. Every single Doctor would agree, and that compassion is what makes us fall in love with them right back.
Photo credits: Walt Disney Pictures
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