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The 5 Most Epic Types of Disney Beards Ever

Ah, beards.

They’re like free-range face hugs, organic and oftentimes erratic, while at the same time, commanding respect with gentle gravitas. And with Abraham Lincoln’s birthday — the venerable creator of the iconic beard-no-mustache-look — coming up on February 12th, there’s no better time to pay tribute to extraordinary Disney beards.

Facial hair can take a regular naked man face and turn it into something revolutionary, like a chin kitten that wrapped itself in comb-able bada**ery.

But that’s only the beginning of their awesomeness. Pogonophiles (a.k.a. the beard-obsessed) are well aware. To know beards is to love them, and these Disney characters just wouldn’t be as epic without face fur that ranges from the sparse to the seriously stroke-able. Classified by type, of course.

THE GOD BEARD:

Most-Epic-Disney-Beards-Gods

Strong and sure, this look belongs on the faces of the most powerful of all Disney beings. Unparalleled in terms of style and matching mustachios, only the bearers are worthy of calling themselves gods among men.

THE SWASHBUCKLER:

Most-Epic-Disney-Beards-Swashbuckler

Subtle and close-cropped, with an optional stache, this Errol Flynn emulator is meant for those who have to think on their feet. After all, you can’t be tripping over your own face every time you buckle and swash.

THE LUMBERJACK:

Most-Epic-Disney-Beards-Lumberjack

Wild and free, these bushy numbers often have chest hair to match. Sported by the most rugged of Disney characters, they manage to look rough and tough, while at the same time, hiding the biggest hearts.

THE WIZARD:

Most-Epic-Disney-Beards-WizardMysterious and full of purpose, these impressive facial follicles are long, sweeping, and can double as an infinity scarf. Suitable for hiding potions, wands and assorted scrolls, the bearer of these infinitely magical beards is very important, and wise beyond measure.

THE FULL BODY BEARD:

Most-Epic-Disney-Beards-Full-BodyTechnically manes, these beards are happy tangles of hairyness, combining greatness and luxuriousness into one big wearable beard suit.

Photo credits: Walt Disney Pictures, Lucasfilm, Marvel

One Mom MediaTravelhound Pilar wouldn’t mind being at Walt Disney World eating the ears off a Mickey ice cream bar right about now. But, since she can’t be at her “second home” year round, she curates happy thoughts on Disney Social Media Magic, a virtual springboard where breaking news and other Disneyfied thingamabobs are shared. For more mouse-minded geekery, join Pilar on FacebookTwitterPinterestInstagram and personal site, One Mom Media.

 

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