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Emmy™ Red Carpet Looks Judged by an 8-Year-Old
by Sunny Chanel
| Posted 3 weeks ago
As I sat down to judge the glamorous fashions worn by the stars attending the Emmy™ Awards, I realized that my opinions may have been biased. By knowing which celebrities were my favorites, I was already likely to favor one’s dress over another. However, my 8-year-old daughter didn’t know who anyone strutting on the red carpet was, and she was more than happy to provide some fashion commentary. I took this opportunity to collect her honest, unbiased, and very original opinions of the gowns and fashion statements made at the 2014 Emmy™ Awards.
Here are the results:
"She looks like she's wearing a sticky dress during a rainstorm."
"That doesn’t look very comfortable; it's like someone made a robot dress."
"Looks like it’s made out of paper — not craft paper, but like thick tissue paper."
"She looks nice. She looks like one of those paintings with all those squares of color next to each other (ed. Piet Mondrian), but a tomato version."
"She looks like a raven."
"This has me confused. Why does every dress look so uncomfortable? Like, she can not be comfy in that dress, right?"
"It’s eh. It’s not too fancy. It’s not too plain. It’s not that thermal, ultra, mega, blah, blah, blah. It’s just eh."
"It’s fancy! And it’s orange! It looks like it is screaming, 'This is orange! This is fashion!'"
"Wow. That one is so, so, so, so, so nice. She looks so pretty. Like a princess."
"She looks like a tangerine."
"That’s a fancy, very fancy, dress. It’s like crystals on a beach."
"Wow. That’s a lot of lace. She looks like a skinny whale."
"She’s like a shiny avocado. We should write a song, 'Shiny Avocado in Grapefruit Town …'"
"That looks just like the robot dress and the crystals on the beach dress. Maybe they are all friends and wanted to dress the same."
"Her dress looks like trees in the forest at night."
"WOAH! She looks like an overly pink flamingo. Wait I have a story to go with this one. So she was on her way to work in a suit and she was late for work. She has to go around a zoo to get to work, but she was late and they were doing street cleaning but she really had to get to work so she took a shortcut through the zoo. She went through the flamingo habitat and she got a bunch of flamingo feathers all over her, then she ran through the cafeteria and there was a bunch of spilled cranberry juice on the floor and the bottom of her dress got all red. But she finally got to work and her work was the Emmys™."
"It looks like a battling chessboard, with the knights fighting and stuff. And it looks like there are hidden Mickeys in there!"
"She looks like a ripe apple, and I like that it has a pattern to it. She matches the carpet; it’s like the red carpet came to life!"
All photos from PCN Photos