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Why a Baby Girl Won’t Be the Cure for Britney Spears’ Loneliness

britney2Britney Spears is the busy working mom of two sons, Sean and Jayden. Her new album, Britney Jean, is out to mixed but mostly positive reviews, so she’ll be promoting it for a while. She doesn’t plan on slowing down anytime soon.

But within a few years, Britney wants to have a baby girl:

“I would like to be busy the first couple of years, but then I would really like to have another baby, a girl,” she said in an interview for InStyle‘s January issue. 

“I think she would be like a mini-me. I think it’s going to be crazy. I’m not going to feel as alone in the world anymore. I’m going to feel like I have a second person, like, that’s me.”

I understand the sentiment. I have four children. Raising them is fulfilling and gives my life meaning in startling ways. And I have to admit, there is something especially fun about dressing up a little girl. But having a child to fill something lacking is misguided. Children take. Parents give. That’s the deal.

I am fulfilled through serving my kids and stretched into a better person by loving them. They are sweet and interesting and fun to be around. They complete me, in a way. But they don’t make me feel like I have a second (third, or fourth) person — they are not me. In fact, that has been one of the greatest revelations of parenting: My kids aren’t mini-mes. And I’m glad! They don’t struggle in ways I feared they would. They are strong in ways that surprise me. They are a lot like me in some ways and better or worse or simply different from me in some ways. They’re people, like how Britney Spears is a person, and her mom Lynne is a completely different person. Britney, as Lynne’s daughter, is not Lynne’s “mini-me.”

If Britney still feels alone with her two sons, I’m not sure having a daughter will change anything. I have a lot of good will towards Britney. She seems sweet. She’s suffered the cliches of stardom, been unlucky in love, and she kind of went off the rails for a while. I’m happy she’s “back” with her new album and seems to have it together. I hope she does have a baby girl, and I hope it makes her really happy. But nursing on no sleep with full hormones in the middle of the night? It can be lonely. Power through, Brit!

She also told InStyle, “As a mom, you have all these situations you go through, and you’re like, ‘What is going on? Is this normal? Is this a phase? Or what is this?’ and then you feel silly for asking questions because you think, I’m a mom, I’m supposed to know these things, but you don’t. You’re human. To be honest, I wish I had more mom friends.”

I can relate to this so much. I think any parent can. And maybe this gets more to the heart of the matter. Maybe Britney needs more mom friends. Maybe what she’s looking for in a daughter — her mini-me — is just an understanding friend? I know that I feel much more like a real person when I can talk to a friend, have my feelings validated and my anxiety relieved. My daughters are 6 and 13. They are great companions. I love being with them. But they aren’t quite that friend I need. They just don’t play that role for me. Maybe when they are adults? I’m not sure. But that’s a long time to wait for a friend.

Britney, call me!

Should parents (celebrity or not) have kids just so that they don’t “feel alone”? What need do you think having children fills in your life? And do you even want a “mini-me” running around? I certainly don’t.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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