Facebook's Five Most Annoying Parents

Meet the parents no one likes on Facebook

by Elina Furman

November 17, 2009

What was once the domain of rowdy college co-eds has now become a centralized hub for new parents. You can't so much as check your status updates without seeing some adorable tyke smiling a toothless grin or a parent giving the latest update on what their little genius is up to today. With everyone from Dr. Sears to CafeMom hanging up their FB shingle, it seems this former bastion of social networking cool has been taken over entirely by parents — oftentimes with mixed results. Here are the five biggest offenders. — Elina Furman

 

The Bragger Parent

As the most popular type of parent, this category has trapped even the most well-meaning moms and dads. While your progeny may have walked early, used an adverb correctly or even commented on the recent health care debate, does everyone really need to hear about it? Sure, occasional bragging is part of the parental bill of rights, but abuse of this privilege can be met with swift exclusion from friend lists. And though your pals would not mention anything to your face, you can tell by your ever-waning wall activity that it's time to put a lid on it.
 

The Whiner Parent

Baby been keeping you up all night? Spitting up his food? Won't go poopy on the potty? Say hello to the Whiner Parent. Always complaining about their sleep and happiness deprivation, you'd think these parents and their colicky offspring had a monopoly on the crying game. While it's okay to occasionally post an FB rant to gain much-needed sympathy and even advice from other veteran parent pals, if you're always complaining prepare to lose some Facebook friends and fast.

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“wow...this comes off just horribly bitter. I rarely mention my kids on facebook, so I don't think my reaction is any kind of harsh truth hitting home. I'm pretty sure this article just reads like no-one should ever be pleased with parenting in whatever way they enjoy it. It's not so much coming across that noone should talk on and on about their (not so unique) experiences, but that parents who do so are, in some way, damaged and laughable. Id think you were "The Cool Parent" if you seemed to be having any fun, but as it turns out, you're just cynical and jaded...and coming from me, that's troubling.”

0
November 17, 2009

“It sounds like there's no way anyone can win with this author. I like my friends and I enjoy their personalities and their posts.”

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November 17, 2009

“funny.....can someone please forward to the facebook patrol team”

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November 17, 2009

“haha...for the first six months i was the whiner parent and shameless...these days, I'm more of a bragger...haven't lost a friend yet!”

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November 17, 2009

“You know what? I guess I'm a 'zen parent'. And yep, my kid poops in her pants. Babies do that! But they are also beautiful, wonderful tings and I'm happy to share my happiness with my friends. Maybe I can remind them to see the good things in life! Know what else? My friends love me and love my pictures and my daughter!”

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November 17, 2009

“too funny”

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November 17, 2009

“I think Elina Furman hits the nail on the head- most of us feel the same way about all this parental over-sharing to the point of naseum at times. I think the way she's been able to categorize us in such a tongue n' cheek way that is simply hilarious! And I know I've definitely fit into each and every one of these categories at some point during my parenthood journey.”

0
November 17, 2009

“I think you've summed up pretty much every kind of annoying parent on FB. I think you're funny and right!”

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November 17, 2009

“So parents can't brag, whine, do something not baby-related, obsess or accept. Elina has just described every parent in the universe.”

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November 17, 2009

“Ha! Yeah, I was going to say that it looks like any parent may be a loser based on this. I think we're all a little bit of each. The problem is Facebook itself. Yawn.”

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November 17, 2009

“Yet, she's on Facebook. Rad!”

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November 17, 2009

“I have gotten more grief about posting giveaways and sweeps so I don't think I'm the annoying parents just the annoying giveaway gal~ But I see a lot of these parents your talking about on FB, well not the zen ones...”

0
November 17, 2009

“all whiner moms should be banned from facebook!!!!!!!!!!”

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November 17, 2009

“It's not just parents - I unfriended someone simply because most of what she posted about her life consisted about whining that she was tired and couldn't sleep - and she doesn't have any kids!”

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November 17, 2009

“Actually, I really don't mind when my fellow parents on FB whine, brag, or post pictures of their offspring. In fact, I usually enjoy it, because I can relate to what they are going through. I am also guilty of all of these "transgressions" at one time or another... strangely, I find kid-related posts get the most comment from my FB friends, especially other parents. (Who knows, maybe my non-parent friends are cringing.)”

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November 17, 2009

“like anything else, if you don't like it...ignore it...so...”

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November 17, 2009

“None of these really annoy me. In real life, yes but when it is on FB I just ignore it!”

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November 17, 2009

“I think people post about whatever they're obsessed with. My friends with babies tend to do a lot of baby posts, my sports friends do a lot of "Yay my team won!/Waah my team lost!", my friends who are athletes post their current training programs and goals, my friends who are young and single post about their drunken nights ... I mean, what are you going to post on Facebook except stuff that's going on in your life? I will say, though, that *anyone* who is always complaining gets tiresome to read.”

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November 17, 2009

“this piece is spot on!”

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November 17, 2009

“You really can't win with this piece at all! If you don't like reading what people have to say about their lives, you probably should just not do the facebook thing.”

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November 17, 2009

“Actually, without Facebook I would probably never see some of my friends' children, so I don't mind. But I do see the point. I do have one relative that is constantly bragging about her kids' achievements, but hey, there's no shame in being proud of your kids. What's annoying to me are the veiled messages people post in their status that are really personal and probably directed at specific people. Um, why don't you just email that person directly.”

0
November 17, 2009

“I don't have kids, and I like to see what's going on with my friends who do. I have a hard time thinking of anyone whose posts are other than interesting and appropriate to what's going on in their lives, including those friends (you know, people that care about me and about whom I care) that happen to have kids. I do have this awesome technique I developed for dealing with posts that bore or annoy me, though - I IGNORE THEM. Duh.”

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November 17, 2009

“So if we mention parenting in any capacity, be it dreamily (zen), begrudgingly (whiner), constantly (obsessed) or proudly (bragger) we are annoying...but not mentioning our kids at all and simply focusing on our "unchanged" lives makes us (un)cool. One of my biggest problems with Facebook is how it encourages us to construct our identity on a piece of cyberspace and then others perceive our personalities/identities as the exact ones on our pages. Give humans some credit, we are far more complex than what can be seen in a short few minutes. A lot of us omit certain details from our lives. For example, "cool parent" might actually have a problem keeping the world updated on his/her child (I have one friend who posts absolutely no pics of her daughter, she doesn't want them floating around on the net). "Obsessed parent" or "Bragger" might be posting these things for far away family or friends to read, forgetting that some people reading the posts probably saw them yesterday, or, frankly, doesn't give a rat's a** that Johnny got an A in spelling. "Zen" might be trying to win some points back for parenting because of the barrage of parental complaints from "Whiner." Additionally, if you are finding someones posts dull or offensive, or whatever, either remove them as a friend or click "hide" next time they pop up on your minifeed. You never have to see their posts again unless you click on their page.”

0
November 17, 2009

“Guys, this article is not meant to be taken seriously! We can all recognize ourselves and our friends in there, and laugh along.”

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November 17, 2009

“I can't say that I like this article. I'm going to go whine about it on facebook now, while I talk about my upcoming concert Im ditching the kid for. Then I'll post some really awesome pictures of her...say 300-400. *yawn*”

0
November 17, 2009

“I use Kidmondo.com to talk about my kids which is more private and I leave facebook for my friends”

0
November 17, 2009

“Are there any other types, this pretty much sums it up. I find it hillarious and downright funny, and I'm a proud cool one!”

0
November 17, 2009

“Guilty on all five counts, haha!!!!”

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November 17, 2009

“the commenter that gave an analysis of what each type of facebook parent might really be thinking and then earnestly gives advice on how to hide someone is almost as funny as this article. thanks for the laugh.”

0
November 17, 2009

“The trouble is that people read this kind of thing and then get too shy to post. So what was a great way to keep in touch with your far flung friends becomes yet another venue where people get inhibited because they're afraid they're not cool enough. A friend of mine cut way back on her posts recently after someone suggested that she posts too much. And her posts were wonderful! Seriously. This author has too many "friends."”

0
November 17, 2009

“HATE HATE HATE HATE hearing about how my stay-at-home mom friends are SOOOO busy. Um....I do just as much as you AND I have clients and a boss to keep happy. I am absolutely not saying that staying at home isn't hard, I know it is because I work at home and my husband is a stay-at-home dad, and I see what he does everyday. But when I'm on the verge of tears from the most recent client berating, the last thing I want to hear about is how stressed you are from the preschool to soccer to ballet daily drive. Really...spare me....”

0
November 17, 2009

“Dear Ms. "HATE HATE HATE HATE"- Did you ever stop to think that maybe your stay-at-home mom friends feel equally apathetic about your stories of "client beratings" and the like? It's called compassion- get some or GTFO. Stress is stress. And if you feel being berated by a client is bad, I'd hate to see how you fare with being screamed at by your own child every day all day. At least at work you can take a break or commiserate with your co-workers (in "big girl words") around the water cooler or coffee pot. Really...spare me...”

0
November 17, 2009

“Found the articles hilarious, but really, these could basically be applied to every post -- whether or not the person has kids. If you don't like this sort of thing, then why get on Facebook. I think we all secretly love it - and love to complain about it.”

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November 18, 2009

“You forgot the most annoying type--parents of grown children. My facebook feed is full of my close friend's parents posting the same pictures of the grandchildren that the friend posted 30 seconds earlier and 'Check out my Farm!' ad nauseum.”

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November 18, 2009

“'Obsessed Mom' has access to Polaroid film and she's wasting it on her kids? Also,' Zen Mom' is more of a MILF.”

0
November 18, 2009

“I think this article is hilarious. I cannot believe how seriously some of you commenters take every single article. I do wonder how you manage day to day life without an emotional collapse; you can't be so serious all the time, can you?”

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November 18, 2009

“OMG the obsessed parents are my nightmare and really need to get an identity beyond filling my news feed up with their minute by minute account of what the heck their kids are doing or how many cookies they are baking for the day or really bad videos of their kids. Who cares!”

0
November 18, 2009

“I'd much rather read any of these parents' posts as it relates to their children than, say, their DOG. Ugh. I can't stand it when people talk about their animals like they are kids.”

0
November 18, 2009

“What's even worse than parents on FB are parents who have their own blog. Someone I used to go to high school with has a blog that relates every other day the "cute" things her kids say and do. There's even photos of not only the tykes but their meals, their soccer games and even their laundry system!!”

0
November 18, 2009

“i Would have to add a few more types of parents to the list. There's the parents that are obviously technology illiterate and post things like how do i do this and this. There are the parents trying to be cool by being gamers who are always posting things like i just leveled up on farmville. and then my favorite.... my parents. who only got a facebook to torture their child by checking everything on their profile, commenting how much they love their kid. and commenting on anything I say, do, or that is posted on facebook. facebook freedom gone..”

0
November 18, 2009

“Seems like you described every parent, what's left as acceptable??”

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November 18, 2009

“We do so love our little drama's...every one of them driven by our Ego...”

0
November 19, 2009

“Three consecutive status updates regarding your kid and you are officially banned from my news feed.”

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November 19, 2009

“This article is pathetic. Really. What does it matter who posts what on Facebook regarding their kids? If that is all these parents post about and you are annoyed by it block their posts from appearing on your feed. What kind of social engineering, elitist BS are you trying to pull by even writing this article? I think this article should be called "Babble.com Alienates and Demeans Their Target Demographic".”

0
November 21, 2009

“LOL this made me laugh cuz most of the parents I have on my FB fall into one of these categories if not more... my mother in law falls into 4 of these ...”

0
November 23, 2009

“What a hilarious article about parents!”

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November 23, 2009

“Posted on Facebook @ http://www.facebook.com/pages/Babblecom/30499603270#/dykstraq?ref=profile”

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November 23, 2009

“Oh, you totally forgot to mention the "TMI Parent" - the one who feels the needs to post photographic evidence of the first time their little darling pooped in their potty chair, or make status updates about the color and consistency of the mucus that's coming out of their child's nose.”

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November 25, 2009

“Is there anyone who doesn't annoy the author? Lighten up! But maybe I'm just too zen...”

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December 2, 2009

“Thank GOD I'm not a parent ...;)P”

0
December 3, 2009

“How is this unique to Facebook?”

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December 4, 2009

“Well the wonderful thing about facebook is that if someone who has me added as a friend thinks I post too many pictures of my son--they can change the settings and none of that will even show up on their feed. The funny thing is, I was trying to limit myself to how many pictures I put up and my family and friends that live far away were complaining that I wasn't put enough up or as often as they'd like. If other people don't like it, they can delete me. I mean, I went through and deleted people I don't even talk to who are always talking about getting wasted and relationship drama. How is that any different? And why do people care?”

0
December 9, 2009

“This article sucks.”

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December 15, 2009

“Real edgy with no substance - the trademark of your hopelessly alienated Facebook generation. Yes, laugh while you can. Just look at this site - Buy this shitty product! Shop our deals! What a joke you all are.”

0
December 15, 2009

“"This, then, is the first part of Babble's mission: to tell the truth about parenting, to bypass the clichés and dig into the magical and maddening reality." Really? The reality is that your content serves to simply to reinforce new clichés, and to leverage the advertising opportunities which stem therefrom. Big money ($2 million from Village Ventures in 2/09 - WOW), yet small minds. Maybe you'll go on to cash out, and you can sleep well knowing that you exploited the "new generation" of parents.”

0
December 15, 2009

“uh.. I thought this was supposed to be a little funny joke about facebook.. jeeze..”

0
December 16, 2009

“Thanks God im not a parent!.”

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December 16, 2009

“this is stupid....if u dont like my facebook just block me...DUH”

0
December 21, 2009

“You people need to RELAX. It's just an article.”

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January 5, 2010

“sounds like my parents”

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January 7, 2010

“Excellent piece - I'm glad someone had the balls to say these things out loud. Those people (generally all female, too - makes me slightly ashamed for my gender) definitely annoy me personally. Good thing you can hide people's status updates so you don't have to read those baby updates every single day.”

0
January 28, 2010
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About the Author

Related Articles
author bio Elina Furman is an author and mom, currently working on a new parenting book. She has written over 20 books for which she has appeared on such shows as Good Morning America and The Today Show. She is the publisher of Mamaista.com, the chic little daily for moms.

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