Beyond 'Heather Has Two Mommies'

The future of gay characters in children's entertainment. by Brett Berk

February 10, 2009

When I was a little boy growing up in the Midwest, the closest thing I had to a queer media role model — besides Bert and Ernie — was Ferdinand, the flower-sniffing, cork-tree-shade-sitting, hoop-earring-wearing, Spanish bull who refused to participate in the bullfights. Ferdy wasn't overtly gay in any way — in fact, many people thought he wasn't even a bull, but simply a pacifist metaphor, drafted in opposition to Franco's ascendance — but I distinctly remember sitting on the floor of my room, reading the story, and feeling a connection with his bovine alienation.

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My parents were remarkably accepting. They encouraged my love of cooking and hatred of team sports, and allowed me to dress as a girl for Halloween. And so while I'm not sure that I (or my folks) would have identified with a kids' book that was intentionally meant to delineate my difference, some of the other boys and girls at my elementary school certainly could have used a lesson in tolerating those of us who didn't conform to traditional gender roles, something a bit stronger than Rosie Greer singing "It's Alright to Cry" on Free to Be You and Me.

This need was further enunciated when I started teaching preschool in the early '90s. I found such a paucity of gay characters in children's literature then — my choice was between the hammer-headed polemicism of Heather Has Two Mommies (Alyson Wonderland, 1989) and the outmoded showtune clichés of Daddy's Roomate (Alyson Wonderland, 1991) — that when I read stories to the kids at the school I ran in Manhattan's East Village, I often used to change the genders of one of the protagonists so the book was about two male elephants or two female crows flirting or falling in with one another. I used to change the genders of protagonists so the book was about two male elephants.

I didn't do this to be cute, or even to reflect the realities of my staff (about two-thirds of whom were queer), but because I noticed just how boringly hetero-normative so many of the books we read were — ending with opposite gender pairings and weddings as their solutions — and wanted the kids to have an incidental alternative to all of this, one that didn't make a "problem" or "issue" out of our human range of sexuality, but simply embraced it as a normal part of life. Sometimes, I even skipped the ending altogether.

However, with the recent bigoted efforts to restrict who can participate in matrimonial bliss, if I were still in the classroom today, I might be prone to leave these gender-morphed endings in. Better yet, I might just read some of the recently published picture books that cover this very topic.

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About the Author

author bio Brett Berk, M.S., Ed. is a research consultant, fiction instructor and the author of The Gay Uncle's Guide to Parenting: Candid Counsel from the Depths of the Daycare Trenches (Crown, 2008). He has worked with young children for more than twenty years. He and his boyfriend divide their time between New York City and upstate New York. Visit him at askgayuncle.com.

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