On Friday we showed you the 10 craziest baby products, and now we move on to the parents.
Oh moms and dads. Once upon a time you had a sense of style, pride, proper hygiene. Once upon a time you were logical.
From useless to absurd to downright gag-worthy, all of these products will make you look ridiculous:
1. Why Cry Baby Analyzer
It promises to tell you exactly why your baby is crying in 20 seconds, whether he’s “stressed, sleepy, annoyed, bored, wet or hungry.” Considering parents can tell if a baby’s hungry or, believe it or not, wet, how about a gadget that makes my baby stop crying? Then we’ll talk. (ThinkGeek, $39.99)
2. Peekaru Original
Oh you poor, poor thing. I can tell there used to be a self-respecting women in there somewhere. What happened to you? (TogetherBe, $79.95)
3. The Daddle
Yep. (Currently unavailable on Amazon. Darn.)
Or as we like to call it, the snot rag around your wrist. If your kid’s nose is running so much that you need a handkerchief on you at all times, do you really want to be wearing it around? ($11.99)
5. Play-Doh Cologne Spray
I like the smell of play-doh as much as the next nostalgic child-at-heart, but enough to spray my body with it? Nothing puts a halt on date night like the waft of kindergarten. (Perpetual Kid, $19.99)
6. Nurse Me Tenders
While the Nurse Me Tender is intended to simulate breastfeeding for those who can’t breastfeed, the bulky contraption makes cuddly, cozy feeding time more mechanical than ever. (via ParentDish)
7. Gucci Diaper Bag
$990 for something to hold human feces, bodily fluids and pureed baby food? No thanks.
8. Baby Plus Prenatal Education System
As if pregnant women don’t have enough on their minds. File this under Eye Roll.
9. Intelligender Gender Prediction Test Kit
You could spend $30 to pee on a gender prediction kit that might possibly guess it right, or you can wait the 20 weeks for a trained professional to see a penis or vagina. Up to you.
10. Placentas of Many Colors
Instead of birth charms or initials, designate an anatomically correct placenta for each of your children. Perfect for Grandma to show off at parties.
*Check out the Top 10 Most Ridiculous Baby Products
And stay tuned for the Most Ridiculous Potty Training Products. Oh the lengths parents will go to.