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10 Most Ridiculous Mom Products

By michellehorton |

On Friday we showed you the 10 craziest baby products, and now we move on to the parents.

Oh moms and dads. Once upon a time you had a sense of style, pride, proper hygiene. Once upon a time you were logical.

From useless to absurd to downright gag-worthy, all of these products will make you look ridiculous:

1. Why Cry Baby Analyzer

It promises to tell you exactly why your baby is crying in 20 seconds, whether he’s “stressed, sleepy, annoyed, bored, wet or hungry.” Considering parents can tell if a baby’s hungry or, believe it or not, wet, how about a gadget that makes my baby stop crying? Then we’ll talk. (ThinkGeek, $39.99)

2. Peekaru Original

Oh you poor, poor thing. I can tell there used to be a self-respecting women in there somewhere. What happened to you?  (TogetherBe, $79.95)

3. The Daddle

Yep. (Currently unavailable on Amazon. Darn.)

4. Snozzie

Or as we like to call it, the snot rag around your wrist. If your kid’s nose is running so much that you need a handkerchief on you at all times, do you really want to be wearing it around? ($11.99)

5. Play-Doh Cologne Spray

I like the smell of play-doh as much as the next nostalgic child-at-heart, but enough to spray my body with it? Nothing puts a halt on date night like the waft of kindergarten. (Perpetual Kid, $19.99)

6. Nurse Me Tenders

While the Nurse Me Tender is intended to simulate breastfeeding for those who can’t breastfeed, the bulky contraption makes cuddly, cozy feeding time more mechanical than ever. (via ParentDish)

7. Gucci Diaper Bag

$990 for something to hold human feces, bodily fluids and pureed baby food? No thanks.

8. Baby Plus Prenatal Education System

As if pregnant women don’t have enough on their minds. File this under Eye Roll.

9. Intelligender Gender Prediction Test Kit

You could spend $30 to pee on a gender prediction kit that might possibly guess it right, or you can wait the 20 weeks for a trained professional to see a penis or vagina. Up to you.

10. Placentas of Many Colors

Instead of birth charms or initials, designate an anatomically correct placenta for each of your children. Perfect for Grandma to show off at parties.

*Check out the Top 10 Most Ridiculous Baby Products

And stay tuned for the Most Ridiculous Potty Training Products. Oh the lengths parents will go to.

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About michellehorton



Michelle Horton is the founder of Early Mama, an award-winning site that proves young motherhood doesn’t have to define or limit us. When not writing, she’s typically pretending to be a superhero in her 4-year-old son’s imaginative play. Read bio and latest posts → Read Michelle's latest posts →

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10 thoughts on “10 Most Ridiculous Mom Products

  1. Spiff says:

    Uhhh…I know TWO people who have that Gucci diaper bag unfortunately!

  2. Emily Ballard says:

    I bought my husband The Daddle for Father’s Day a few years ago and will NEVER live it down.

  3. Diera says:

    The placenta necklace is actually kind of pretty if you don’t know what it’s supposed to be.

  4. Jennifer Knickerbocker says:

    Oh my gosh this made me laugh SO hard! Thank you for putting a smile on my face today.

  5. Bonnie says:

    OMG! I am laughing so hard!

  6. gemmer says:

    SNOZZIE – You wear it, you wipe, put on another. Do you keep a dirty bib on your baby all day?
    Babies do have constant drippy noses or drool which you’d know if you cared for them all day, like sahms do. You end up using your sleeve. Wearing snot on your sleeve, even better.

  7. michellehorton says:

    @Gemmer: Actually I have cared for a baby all day, and I wouldn’t wear a burp cloth and call it fashion. I don’t really see how it’s any different than having a box of tissues/cloth on hand — except I don’t wear those on my body.

  8. gemmer says:

    Because judging from your pix, you’re not very stylin’ yourself. have you ever heard of a handkerchief?
    ”To wipe your nose on your sleeve is boorish.” – Erasmus

  9. Dana says:

    I actually used the intelligender test with both my pregnancies and it was 100% accurate both times. It was fun because you get antsy after a few weeks and want to know and don’t want to wait until 20 weeks!

  10. CQ says:

    Genius. I know who to give the play dough scent to! So funny. The gender predictor was great – it’s got a 50/50 chance hasn’t it?! Good on them, at least half their customers will be happy :)

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