I’m not sure if it’s the sticky-hot temperatures or just the memory of carefree childhoods, but there’s something about summer time that encourages fully functioning adults to lose a level of decency and taste. It happens year after year — the streets are suddenly flocked with universally unflattering and juvenile fashion statements, young and old, men and women, professional and non-professional alike. We might shrug our shoulders because it’s summer and it’s hot, but there are certain summer fashion faux pas that simply make you look ridiculous. And you need to stop it.
Here are my biggest pet peeves about summer fashion gone wrong. What would you add to this list? And more importantly: are you guilty of any of these?
Super Short Shorts 1 of 17I'd like to say this fashion faux-pas ends around age 21, but not so. I know it's hot out, but there's a fine line between underwear and shorts — and that line is the bottom crease of your tush. Ladies: Please take a look at your behind before leaving the house.
Cut-Off Jean Shorts 2 of 17I know there are plenty of women (of a certain body type) that can pull off the cut-off shorts look, but the general rule is that if you're thinking about taking scissors to a pair of your jeans, don't. It almost always looks sloppy and juvenile. This is generally true for women and always true for men. Unless you're a never-nude — that's beyond your control.
Photo: TShirt Laundry
Orange Skin 3 of 17I'm all for protecting your skin with sunscreen and slathering on a fake tan, but it's always — and I mean always — better to be pale than orange.
Photo: Banana Boat via Amazon
Socks & Sandals 4 of 17Stop it.
High Fashion Bathing Suits 5 of 17If you're buying an $800 swimsuit that you're not even sure should get wet, we need to talk.
Photo: Neiman Marcus
Baby String Bikinis 6 of 17I know it's intended to be cute, not shocking, but it still kind of is, right? Let a kid be a kid.
Skorts, Fanny Packs, Visors, and Any Other 90s Summer Fashion 7 of 17Can you believe they still make skorts? And people still buy them? They weren't flattering in 1994 and they're not flattering today. Move on.
Photo: Lands' End
Age-Inappropriate Clothes 8 of 17If you're buying sun dresses, mini jean skirts, and tank tops in your daughter's department, it's time to reexamine your wardrobe. You don't want to be that woman — and we don't see that woman nearly as often as in the summer months.
Mixed Seasons (Specifically UGGS with Skirts) 9 of 17I'm not even a fan of UGGS in the winter, but the concept of warm UGGS with shorts or a skirt blows my mind. This goes for all winter-summer combos, like beanie hats and cargo shorts, sweatshirts and shorts, knee-high boots and short shorts, etc.
Exposed Bra Straps 10 of 17...Or in this case, an exposed bra. It's become almost admissible to have bra straps peeking out from tank tops — and it's almost always the dingy-looking bra that's been washed too many times — but can we agree that this looks flattering on no one? And that there are very real solutions to this problem?
Crocs 11 of 17Still? Is this still going on?
Flip Flops at the Office 12 of 17I'm all for flip-flops with a casual weekend outfit or a day at the beach, but at the office? It seems to be an issue every year — even forcing employers to send out dress-code emails. Even if you have pretty pedicured feet, do you really want to announce your arrival like a metronome echoing through the halls?
Photo: Old Navy
Unmanicured Feet 13 of 17Speaking of feet. Men and women alike are guilty of this, and it's probably my biggest pet peeve. If you aren't going to make your feet look presentable, please don't present them.
The Wrong Type/Color Underwear 14 of 17And this is probably the most common summer fashion DON'T. Pink underwear with white skirts, black bras with sheer tanks, lacy outlines in skin-tight white pants, etc. A nude thong can be a wonderful thing.
Cargo Shorts 15 of 17Men really don't have too many acceptable options for shorts — either their too short, too long, too plaid, too mesh. And the cargo shorts (which, I'll admit, are in most stores — leaving men feeling option-less) have that frat-boy feel. And what do you really need all of those pockets for? It's flattering on exactly no one.
Photo: Roebuck & Co via Sears
Short Sleeve Button-Down Shirt 16 of 17Another major office (and even more baffling, out-of-the-office) fashion DON'T that always reappears when the temperatures spike. I have two words for you: Dwight Schrute.
Too Much Skin, All At Once 17 of 17Women: Follow the basic role of accentuating (or exposing) one area at a time. So if you're showing a lot of leg, put away the cleavage. If you're wearing a strapless dress, slightly lower the hem past peek-a-boo status. (You get the idea)
Men: No one wants to see your upper thighs. Fact.
Photo: My own. Yes I saw this with my own two eyes.
Read more of Michelle’s writing at Early Mama.
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