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Stock Photography Proves You’ve Been Doing Home Improvement All Wrong

As a blogger, I’ve written about the comical world of stock photography on multiple occasions. First there were the 25 things stock photography taught us about love, followed by the 18 valuable lessons stock photography taught us about parenting, and let us never forget the 18 pictures of people having a more magical holiday than you.

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The unsexy master bedroom debacle of 2011

But for all of stock photography’s ridiculousness, there’s bona fide wisdom to be gained when it comes to home improvement for couples.

For example, who knew home improvement was such a turn on? I tell you who knew – stock photography. And to think, all this time home improvement projects have had the polar opposite effect on me. Gah, what a total waste of spontaneous lovin’ on soiled drop cloths amid metal shards and wood shavings…

So I guess this means my husband and I have been doing-it-ourselves all wrong, and if  you’ve ever wondered if your partner’s blood might serve as a lovely accent color on a challenging design project, you’ve been doing it wrong too.

 

  • Do-it-youself? No way. 1 of 15
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    Pay attention friends, stock photography is going to show you how home improvement is really done.

  • Wet paint 2 of 15
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    Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up the truck. Let's examine this one a little closer:

    • I don't actually see any wet paint
    • These people are in nighttime attire
    • At least it's not police tape
    • Nope, still doesn't make sense

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Really now 3 of 15
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    I suppose that's one way to paint a wall... Hey look, even the wall is blushing!

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Synchronized painting 4 of 15
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    There you were, working with your partner on opposite sides of the room with pesky rollers and paint when you should have been engaged in a one-arm embrace using paintless paintbrushes. The more you know...

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Bedroom stare 5 of 15
    shutterstock_141915094

    Even if we assume for a moment that the man in the picture is this woman's partner, he looks way more interested in stroking more than a little paint on the walls if you know what I'm sayin'... And if this is the hired painter - eww!

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Size matters 6 of 15
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    Ooo, look at us caught in a romantic moment with a tape measure. Like it's never happened to you...

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • How he rolls 7 of 15
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    Choreplay? Genius? You decide.

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Orange you glad 8 of 15
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    So there's this newfangeled contraption called a ladder...

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • On guard! 9 of 15
    shutterstock_69860488

    I'm all for a little fun, but I'm pretty sure no couple in the history of the DIY universe has ever actually done this. And who else is as least mildly worried about the guy's left hand about to knock over the paint tray right onto the unprotected floor?

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Romantic roll 10 of 15
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    Man + open shirt + woman + paint roller = a pigment of your imagination.

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Level with me 11 of 15
    shutterstock_67134451

    Here Honey, let me show you how this complex device works because it's incredibly complicated and you're just a woman. No thank you.

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • So many questions 12 of 15
    shutterstock_111073469

    First, let's talk in terms of design. What exactly is this couple going for? Some sort of 80s Pollock-inspired abstract impressionist thing? The color combination is...interesting, as is the wash of their collective tight denim. As for the sexy embrace, it's safe to assume they're taking the term "action painting" literally.

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • TLC 13 of 15
    shutterstock_128733668

    "Hey Baby, I've got a DIY for ya..."

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Uhhh… 14 of 15
    shutterstock_77850127

    There's enough going on in this picture to rip a whole in the fabric of the universe - the antiquated phone, the acid washed jeans, the drill, the single undone overall strap...sometimes it's just better not to ask why.

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Double duty 15 of 15
    shutterstock_60509647

    It's amazing how much faster this goes when we paint the exact same area at the exact same time!

     

    Image credit: Shutterstock

 

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More Mommyfriend on Babble:

10 Things Your Man Doesn’t Want to Hear During Home Improvement Projects

10 Ways Choosing a Paint Color is Like Choosing a Partner

24 Autumn-Inspired Paint Colors to “Fall” For

Weekend Upgrade: Transform Your Tired Fireplace!

25 Affordable Kids’ Desks Just in Time for Back-to-School

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