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Top 10 Most Inappropriate Kids Gifts Ever

By michellehorton |

Remember how we told you about the (controversial) most inappropriate kids costumes for Halloween? Well now that Christmas is around the corner, let’s round-up some bizarre, inappropriate, what-were-they-thinking kids toys. So if you’re having trouble finding a gift for your sister’s preschool-aged daughter or friend’s new baby, just stay away from the items below and you should be in the clear.

Note: Yes, these are real toys.

Oh, and another note: You might find these kids gifts funny, but we guarantee the parents in the room will be exchanging This-Can’t-Be-Happening looks.

1. Infant High Heels

baby gifts

You might think it’s adorable to get a 4 month old baby her first pair of heels, but her parents will most likely find it disturbing. Because it is disturbing.

 

2. Lower Back Tattoos

 

Classy.

 

3. Pole Dance Doll

 

Dollar bills not included.

 

4. Battery-Operated “Mad Cow”

 

 

“This infectious, crazy cow is udderly nuts!”

 

5. Child’s Tassle Tee

 

 

For the girl who outgrows her Pole Dancing Doll.

 

6. Pee and Poo Plush Dolls

 

We’re not so sure about our babies cuddling up to plush poop…

 

7.  Venereal Disease Toys

 

 

 

…but stuffed STDs? Even weirder.

 

8. Shave the Baby

 

 

There are just so many disturbing things about this toy, starting with: What’s with the ankle hair?

 

9. The Worst Designed $1 Store Game Ever

 

Did really no one at the toy company catch the glaring design flaw of this maze? We’ll bet the parents of this baby Hitler costume already stocked up.

 

10. Roadkill

 

The makers of Road Kill Toys claims that “the blood and guts and gore are made using the latest high-tech stuffing and plush, to give it quite a realistic squidgy effect.” Yes, squidgy is a direct quote. Oh, and there’s more: “Twitch’s body is stuffed with a mixture of beads and stuffing. The beads give the Squash-plush teddy a bit of extra weight, so he can lie spreadeagled in his blood and gut-pool…You can disembowel Twitch by pulling the blood and innards through the zips that line both sides of the teddy carcass.” Death certificate and “I Love Roadkill” bumper sticker included.

At least the self-proclaimed “Toy Terrorist” company has a sense of humor about it – which is more than we can say about the Pole Dancing Doll. Seems like more of a gift from childless Uncle Jimmy, no? Here’s to well adjusted children, everyone.

 

Sources: Babble.com, Ohdeedoh, Huffington Post, Huffington Post

 

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About michellehorton

michellehorton

michellehorton

Michelle Horton is the founder of Early Mama, an award-winning site that proves young motherhood doesn’t have to define or limit us. When not writing, she’s typically pretending to be a superhero in her 4-year-old son’s imaginative play. Read bio and latest posts → Read Michelle's latest posts →

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16 thoughts on “Top 10 Most Inappropriate Kids Gifts Ever

  1. [...] Found this while I was browsing – thought it was quite funny – I kind of like the roadkill one Top 10 Worst Kids Toys Ever | Family Style Heather My Blog Reply With Quote Share with Facebook + Reply to [...]

  2. kiwimarie says:

    im pretty sure the stuffed stds are directed at older kids or gag gifts. my best friend got me the clap one year and it was hilarious . it comes with educational facts on the tag. the web site for these has tons of different ones . giantmicrobes.com

  3. Megan says:

    LMAO I’m soooo getting pee and poop plushies for my cousins. Their parents will flip

  4. erica says:

    Years back they sold the harry potter flying stick. Worse of all it vibrated, now we all know how we’re suppose to”fly “ it…

  5. nikole says:

    I’m sorry. But these are the absolute greatest toys to me.

  6. LizWhitby says:

    The pee & poo are amazing – don’t you know that potty humor is all the rage in pre-k! My kids would love it! A dinner conversation doesn’t go by without the use of peepee, poopoo or caca in a sentence! That should be on the TOP 10 list!

  7. WildernessBarbie says:

    My husband got me the road kill rabbit for Christmas a couple of years ago and I love it! Took some great Easter photos with a basket of smashed eggs in the middle of the road. It’s currently in the baby’s crib awaiting her arrival, there’s only so many teddy bears one can stand!

  8. Kristin says:

    My son has about 20 of the giant microbes. He’s 6 & loves learning about parasites and diseases. People look at me strangely when he explains what they are, but I think they are great for curious and precocious little ones!

  9. Psywing says:

    You DO realize the “You can shave the baby” doll
    isn’t a real toy, right?

    It’s an art piece. NOT an actual toy

  10. ener says:

    The swastika game isn’t that noticeable… It took me about 10 minutes of staring before I realized what flaw you were talking about. Even the Hitler comment didn’t help me notice.

  11. CLS says:

    As for the swastika game… it could easily be the Buddhist symbol Nazis rotated and stole. Not to mention of all of the toys on this list, that one is the least noticeable and mostly likely to be an innocent mistake. I hope….

  12. David says:

    Oh boy – you guys really just LOVE to be offended, dont you?? Cant you write an article about how whacked out and strange the world can be without being uptight about it? What a boring life we would have without weird stuff!

  13. BoisePadre says:

    The “Mad Cow” is absolutely hilarious! You can’t help but LOL! My Grandson’s dog runs from it but everybody else loves it!

  14. silverx says:

    Actually I think a few of these are very funny, where can I buy my pee and poo plushies? or or my mad cow? what about roadkill? those are horrible gifts for kids, but these are hilarious to most grown ups I’d think…

  15. fae says:

    “You can shave the baby” is not a toy, it’s a piece of art shown only in galleries, never ever for sale.
    http://raster.art.pl/gallery/artists/libera/prace.htm

  16. kori roach says:

    Okay maybe it’s just that I’m a slightly disturbed 18 year old girl but I really want the roadkill dolls.

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