5-Minute Time Out: Jen Singer

The author on why stay-at-home moms should have their own holiday. by Jennifer V. Hughes

June 20, 2008

Forget Mother's Day — when it comes to holidays, I'm with Jen Singer. The blogger behind Momma Said created "Please Take My Children to Work Day" six years ago as a way to give stay-at-home moms a real day off. This year the holiday falls on June 30th — a perfect excuse to rook your mother-in-law into watching your tot while you read a novel. Singer is also celebrating the release of her book You're a Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren't So Bad Either), in which she offers fourteen ways to avoid being either the super mom or slacker mom. (Singer hilariously recounts the time she tried to be super mom and sew a ghost costume for her son; he ended up looking like a pint-sized Klansman.)

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The book is also filled with lists and quizzes, some of which first appeared in Parenting magazine. Normally, these can be kind of lame, but in the margin of the book I wrote HA HA HA by the list titled "Mommy Was A Good Girl Today. She Deserves a Sticker. #1: I managed to find a G-rated word to shout after dropping a bottle of apple juice on my bare foot."

I so deserve that freakin' sticker.

Singer, who lives in New Jersey with her husband Pete and sons, Nicholas, eleven, and Christopher, nine, also blogs about tweens and is at work on a series of books for babies, toddlers and preschoolers. Babble talked to her about what she'll be doing on June 30th, about how to be a "mom from the middle," and about — yikes — her recent battle with cancer. — Jennifer V. Hughes

How did you come up with the idea for "Please Take My Children to Work Day?"

I was a full-time stay-at-home mom spending a hundred hours a week with my kids and I went to a parenting seminar. A woman raised her hand and asked, "How can I get time off because my husband thinks this is time off?" I couldn't help myself and said, "This is a work-related seminar." Everyone deserves time off … a lot of stay-at-home moms feel like this is their job, so they need to do it 24/7. When you're a stay-at-home mom, a sick day means you're just doing what you always do except you also feel miserable.

What are you going to be doing on June 30th?

Usually my mother-in-law takes my kids and my mom and I go out, but we're going out a week early to a spa.
Maybe my mom will take the kids and I can go see a movie that is not animated with talking animals.
Maybe my mom will take the kids and I can go see a movie that is not animated with talking animals.

When it comes to your book, sometimes I wonder whether we really all think we're terrible moms or if it's not a little like that skinny model-type at the cocktail party who insists she's so fat. Are we just looking for reassurance?

Oh yeah, I think every mom wants to be told they're a good mom. When I do radio shows and they say, "You're a Good Mom … " and for a moment I feel so reassured and then I remember, "Oh, they're just reading the title of my book," and I'm a little disappointed. I think everyone needs to hear it because so often moms are judged in ways that fathers are not. Every little thing is a reflection on us, so we need to be told we're good moms because deep down we're not always so sure we are. It takes the littlest things to knock our self-confidence down.

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About the Author

author bio Jennifer V. Hughes is a writer whose work has appeared in The New York Times, Mothering magazine and the Columbia Law School Report. She also makes a killer sangria.
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