20 Things I Want My Sons to Know About Women

...for no reason. And before you say it, crying fixes everything.
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If I ever catch wind of you saying, "You must be on your period!" you're out of the will. Period. Pun intended.
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If a woman tells you she's "fine", she's the furthest thing from fine in the history of all that is fine in this universe. Think long and hard, buddy. You messed up.
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The best way to earn the respect and blessing of Big Daddy is to treat his daughter right.
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...and sometimes they don't. May you possess the wisdom to know the difference.
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No seriously, just don't. Bring snacks and don't ask questions.
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There is a time and a place for ego. Remember where you came from. Take care of the people you love. Be kind to people in service positions. Help strangers who need it. Be nice to animals. Call your mother.
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She's sure as hell not going to tell you.
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And not necessarily to an arm wrestling match. Prepare to debate, expostulate, disagree, and do it all over again because smart girls are worth it.
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Far be it from you to solve the mysteries contained within 200,000 years of female indecision.
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...in things that matter most in life.
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...is through her family and friends. Respect them, be humble, and make an effort.
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Woo her with your culinary wiles.
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Never be too hip or progressive to hold a door open for a lady, help a woman in need, or make a women feel special.
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As much as you want to jump in and fix every problem, your lady needs your attentive ear more than your solution.
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A dose of retail therapy can make a bad day better, a jerky boss more tolerable, and maybe even let you off the hook for your latest infraction.
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Never stop recognizing the ways - big and small - your special woman matters in your life. She needs to hear and feel your appreciation.
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Give your lady the freedom to fly with her best gals. She the man she brags about.
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...hold their hand.
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Small gestures of love and appreciation matter to women. Once you've got the girl, don't give up romancing her.
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