How to Be a Buzz Kill Parent
No one wants to spoil their kids. But if you are all fun and games all the time you might accidentally spoil them. Don’t do that.
Rain on their parade. Bring it down a notch. Poop on a party. It builds character.
If Tiger Mom taught me anything, it’s that being a drag is an important component of parenting.
I’ve been a buzz kill for years and you can be too. Click through for ways to kill your kid’s buzz and harsh their mellow and, yeah–saying things like that is a GREAT way to start.
What are you waiting for, fun governor!
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Fall Asleep
Remember how your mom could never stay up until midnight on New Year's Eve or make it through an entire movie without falling asleep? Well, guess what? You're the mom now.
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Refuse to Wear a Swimming Suit
Nothing kills a buzz like hang ups about your body and a general refusal to join in the fun. I wish I didn't even own a swimming suit. But I do so I have to cover it with board shorts and a t-shirt.
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Never Pay Full Price
Listen up, moms. There is always a generic brand, a deal, or an outlet store. No self-respecting parent accompanies their kid to the mall and buys them what they want if it isn't on sale. They actually revoke mom cards for that.
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Be Inordinately Concerned with Safety
I'm not talking about helmets, seat belts, and knee pads. You have to go beyond reasonable safety precautions and become a paranoid, hovering, foam-pad applying first rate buzz kill. Your fear will take the fun out of anything.
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Try Lots of New Diets
This can be done so effortlessly with the help of Pinterest. Recipes for sugar-free desserts and vegetable-laden smoothies are yours for the taking. Trust me. Kids don't love it. AND WHY SHOULD THEY.
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Get Really Into Sewing Clothes
A mom has got to have a hobby, right ladies! Let that hobby be sewing. With the right attitude you can recreate the trendiest of tween fashion--or so you think!
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Have a Charitable Christmas
I pull out this classic move every year when my kids start working on their Christmas lists: "You want a laptop? Oh. The Angel Tree kid wants a glove. You're greedy, Merry Christmas."
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Never Understand Video Games, But Keep Trying
Your kids just want you to spend some quality time playing video games with them. Never learn how. But insist on trying. It's such a buzz kill trying to teach your mom not to shoot herself. You have to keep starting over, and over and. . . [Urkel voice] Did I do that?
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Have Technology Fasts and Promote Board Games
As a concerned parent, you need to make sure your kids don't get addicted to technology. Go on lots of "technology fasts" and have "TV black outs." During this time, reminisce about board games and force them on your kids. Did you hear that? It was my buzz dying.
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Insist on Staycations or Educational Vacations
In this economy who can afford a vacation? Never fear. There are plenty of staycations parents can plan and execute for their kids. And they may as well be educational, too! It's not obvious to you but your kids grasp it immediately: An educational staycation is no different from school.
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More of my writing at Kid Scoop
Hang in There! Here’s What You Have to Look Forward to When Your Kids Get Older
My Kids Have No Idea What Boredom Is
Read more from me at Every Day I Write the Book
your posts always make me giggle! love Never Pay Full Price! heeeeeeee
I love this – I was laughing through the whole post! This is actually really good advice. I want to share it with my teenaged daughter but she can’t be let in on this secret.
I have totally found my mom niche. I am the buzz-kill mom. Thanks for helping me self-identify!