10 Lessons in Marriage for My Kid to LearnBeth Anne Ballance
My husband and I are building a life together, one of love and happiness and family. We’re learning together and growing together – we make mistakes, we have dreams we want to achieve, we have setbacks and heartbreaks. But we’re doing it together and we hope to set an example of marriage for our son.
We know his eyes are always on us.
They’re on us when we kiss goodbye every morning, and when we discuss job interviews over the table. His little ears are there when we talk about grocery money, and he watches us clean the kitchen together after dinner.
I know that part of raising a good future husband is giving him a good example of marriage. These are the lessons in marriage I want my son to learn:
It’s okay to marry young. 1 of 10
If you find the one you love, the one that is your forever, it's okay to marry young. Just be sure you know that you can land on your own two feet, support yourself, and pay bills.
Don’t move in together until you’re married. 2 of 10
You're going to call me old-fashioned on this one and that's okay. But wait until you're married to move in together. Setting up a home together, going to bed together, dancing in the kitchen while dinner is cooking...those are all wonderful memories that are created when you move in together. And real life will eventually catch up with those beautiful moments and the stress will come. So keep those memories within your marriage so when life gets tough, you can't say that everything was perfect before the marriage. You'll know that it is just life.
It’s okay to not like the same things. 3 of 10
I don't like to golf, but it is important to your father. So while I don't play, I know the game and I am happy to sit and write while he watches tournaments. I've even been to the Master's with him and I buy him equipment he wants for birthdays and Christmas. We may not golf together, but it's important to show your spouse that what matters to them matters to you...because they matter to you.
Wait to have children. 4 of 10
Take a few years to grow together, to learn to live together and share money and a home. Enjoy being dual-income-no-kids - go to baseball games, buy expensive clothes, pay off your cars, put a down payment on a home. And enjoy sleeping in on the weekends!
Show affection in front of your kids. 5 of 10
Harry, you're at the age where you're starting to giggle when Daddy and I kiss, or sometimes you even get jealous when he hugs me longer than he hugs you. But it's important to let your children see you kiss and show affection - it is a physical assurance to your children that all is right between Momma and Daddy.
Babies make marriage hard. 6 of 10
Adding you to our marriage made our lives richer. I fell more in love with your father than ever, seeing him hold you and raise you into a wonderful little boy. But children bring stress and the merging of two upbringings. It's important to maintain a united front to your children, no matter what the situation. Do not enter parenthood lightly.
Marriage trumps all. 7 of 10
There are a lot of arguments out there about whether marriage or children should top the list as priorities. You'll learn that in our family, marriage trumps all. It is our top priority - a happy, secure marriage equals happy, secure kids. By putting each other first, we are looking out for you.
Date each other. 8 of 10
It's easy to get lazy in a marriage — make sure to date each other. Continue to show your spouse the best parts of you. Make out on the couch. Try on silly hats in Target. Open the door for your wife and thank her if she takes joy in baking you brownies on a Tuesday night.
Talk it out. 9 of 10
Talk to each other. Lay on your pillows at night and face each other, telling secrets and dreams. Ask your wife what her favorite part of the day was, ask her about her project at work, and listen. Let her ask you right back. And when things are hard to talk about, take a deep breath and do it. Remember that marriage is a commitment past anything you have to say, but say everything with love.
Above all, adore each other. 10 of 10
Really, really adore each other. Every day, wake up and decide that you are going to love your spouse and stay together. Some days, that decision will be easy. Some days, that decision will take work. But it is worth it.
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