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10 Signs Mama Needs a Girl’s Night Out

Me and my besties, like forever ago

This weekend - this glorious weekend – I’m headed to a resort with my girlfriends for one amazing night of female fun.

I’m pretty sure I haven’t spent a girl’s night away since the last time I attended a bachelorette party. Once you hit your mid-30′s and all your friends get married, the opportunities to engage in innocent girly nonsense get woefully slim.

As far as I can tell, there are two kinds of girl’s nights:

1. The chill kind – Characterized by flannel pajamas, Uggs, near constant room service, boxed wine, and Ryan Gosling DVD’s.

2. The “Woo-hoo! Mama just got a tramp stamp!” kind – Characterized by wigs, flashing jewelry, body shots, fresh ink, momentary lapses in judgment, and a drunk dial to your husband.

Because I lost my left boob chicken cutlet, my upcoming weekend of girl power debauchery is of the chill variety. I don’t care if we do nothing more than nap for eight hours, pay $74.95 in hotel movies, and engage in unadulterated carb abuse; being with my besties is good enough for me.

One night. Four 35+ year old laydees. Boxed wine. Let the sweet estrogen roll.

I’m needing this girl’s night something fierce. As much as I love playing wife and mom, every now and again it’s simply delicious to swear like a sailor, talk about periods, and cry over something.

If you’re exhibiting any of the following telltale signs, I suggest you email this post to your bestie and get planning stat. It’s time Mama.

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  • You haven’t done anything… 1 of 10
    You haven't done anything...
    stupid-hilarious since the Clinton administration. Ideas include: Kelly Clarkson karaoke, pretend wedding dress shopping, breaking out into spontaneous song, going braless, and wearing neon leg warmers.

    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • You feel the need… 2 of 10
    You feel the need...
    to bask in the awesomeness of inside jokes. "Dark at the top of the bazoochies!" Ahahahaha! Sorry, you had to be there.

    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • You want to have… 3 of 10
    You want to have...
    an opportunity to miss your kids for once. You miss them, they miss you, dad's in charge - it's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • You need to hear… 4 of 10
    You need to hear...
    real gossip in real time by real women. Real funny women. Who got their their lips done? Who wears butt pads? This is need to know information!

    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • You forgot the joy… 5 of 10
    You forgot the joy...
    of sharing a bathroom with ladies who have better cosmetics than you. Gimme, gimme, lemme try.

    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • You can’t remember… 6 of 10
    You can't remember...
    the last time you didn't have to cook or clean the dishes...or got to drink something deliciously sinful out of a sugar-rimmed glass.

    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • You forgot what it feels like… 7 of 10
    You forgot what it feels like...
    to be pampered. Toe flowers; yessss!

    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • You want to eat… 8 of 10
    You want to eat...
    your weight in carbs and be celebrated for it. Midnight donut run! Nom, nom, nom...

    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • You feel the urge… 9 of 10
    You feel the urge...
    to engage in a little innocent girly fun. Bring your old yearbooks ladies!

    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • You need an excuse… 10 of 10
    You need an excuse...
    (any excuse) to wear those fabulous shoes in the back of your closet. Your feet never looked so sexy or hurt so bad.

    [Image credit: Shutterstock]

Tell me Mama, what do you like to do on a girl’s night?

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A Memo to My Kids: This is how I really feel
10 signs you’re probably a Mom-bie
15 moms share their ultimate super powers

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