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10 Things to Do With Your Kids Before the End of the World

The Mayans predicted the end of the world tomorrow, December 21, 2012. They better not be right, I’m leaving for Vegas this weekend.

But just in case the Mayans are right, I’ve come up with a list of things to do with your kids today, ya know, on your the last full day on earth.

10 Things to do with your kids before the end of the world

1. Get chocolate wasted. I’m talking, start eating chocolate and never stop. Fall into a chocolate coma, wake up, and proceed by eating more chocolate.

2. No baths. Because really, you don’t need the fight and who cares anyway.

3. Breakfast for dinner. Kids like breakfast for dinner and so you do. Just give them this, Mom and Dad, geez.

4. Have a food fight. Yes, in your home. Take all your perishables (which, will be perishing tomorrow anyway) and have an epically disgusting food fight all over your beige carpet. Smear all six dozen boxes of Twinkies you were hoarding all over the furniture for good measure.

5. It’s all fun and games, until – who cares if someone loses an eye?! It’s the end of the world. I say MORE FUN! MORE GAMES!

6. Wear every Halloween costume you own just because. Because costumes are fun, and army/Jedi/Iron Man/dinosaur/firemen/phantoms are fun too.

7. Spend your kids’ college tuition. Go buy something stupid. It doesn’t matter what it is, just go spend everything you have on something ridiculous that your kids want, like a 24 karat gold game console. You can’t take it with you.

8. Watch TV until your eyes bleed. Yes, up until now you’ve done the responsible thing and limited your children’s screen time. Enough of all that!

9. To hell with bed time. There’s only so many hours left people, spend them together.

10. Tell and show your kids how much you love them. Obviously.

Sad that I have to disclaim disclaimer: Um, the end of the world isn’t actually happening tomorrow (at least I don’t think it is) so please don’t endanger your health, safety, finances, or beautiful home because I wrote a silly little post that jokingly told you to. Really people, my kids don’t even listen to me so why should you.

What would you add to the list of things to do with your kids before the end of the world?

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