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10 Ways Motherhood Made Me a Better Wife

By Lori Garcia |

When I started wife-ing, I didn’t know what I was doing.

Sure, I loved my husband but that was about all I knew how to do. 

I sort of figured, hey, how hard could marriage be? You work hard, love each other, and the rest just falls into place, right? Well, maybe on a good day. As young people do, we fought hard, loved harder, and believed we were masters of our marital universe…that was until Boy Wonder made his arrival four years later.

We figured, hey, how hard could parenthood be? You read books, you try hard, and you love your baby, right? Again, maybe on a good day.

As long as I’m being honest, I found the first year of parenting to be harder on our marriage than the first year of marriage itself. We were giving every bit of ourselves to our son and our careers which left very little to give each other.

I knew we’d survive the trails of new parenthood, but I never knew how much motherhood would change me as a wife. As I look back on the evolution of our 13 year marriage, I have motherhood to thank for allowing me to see my husband in a whole new light.

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Mother Describes the Ways Motherhood Made Her a Better Wife

I learned I married a strong man

I never knew my husband's depth of character until we became parents. My deepest respect was his for the taking.

Has motherhood made you a better wife?

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About Lori Garcia

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Lori Garcia

Lori Garcia is a writer and mother of two living and loving in Southern California. When she's not fussing with her bangs, you can find her shaking her groove thing on her personal blog, Mommyfriend where she almost never combines true tales of motherhood and mayhem with her degree in child development. Read bio and latest posts → Read Lori's latest posts →

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7 thoughts on “10 Ways Motherhood Made Me a Better Wife

  1. Janet says:

    Ironically, it was having a baby that made me realize that my husband is not a very good person and our marriage is over. I think I always knew it, but wasn’t really “aware” of it. Having my daughter put it in the forefront of my mind. I didn’t trust him – and now he’s gone. :)

    Being a parent has me a better PERSON for many of the reasons you mentioned (aside from the ones directed towards your husband – those were the things that made me realize he wasn’t a good person). I think being a parent brings out the true character of a person and it doesn’t really have to do with being a wife or husband – that would follow naturally. However, I do hope that your husband can say the same thing – that being a parent has made him a better husband.

    1. mommyfriend says:

      Janet, what a brave decision you made. I agree 1000% with “I think being a parent brings out the true character of a person…” Amen to that, sister. Best of luck to you and your daughter – she’s got herself a strong mama in you.

  2. WhatIsAMom says:

    Janet – Bravo for making room for what will be better for you and your child!

    “Honey I want to stay in love with you,” was what my Beloved said to me after our first month with baby. I had just criticized him for how he was changing her diaper (waiting until she was wailing and then just plowing through it, and slowly at that). After 9 months in my belly, I had a relationship with my daughter that he just couldn’t possibly have. I had felt her hiccups INSIDE my body, knew her patterns of movement, her temperament even through her kicks. There was no way, that he would be as in-tune with her as I was. So I was snappy to put it gently.

    Like Janet, I do believe that parenthood brings out the true character of a person (or at least what’s important to them). With my honey’s words though, I realized how much he valued me and our child. If anything my “character” as a mom, was revealing itself to be tiger-ish if not harpie-ish LOL.

    Having a child certainly brings up a mirror, and I’ve learned just how critical, my inner critical voice can be, for that I am SO thankful. It’s caused me to let got of so much in order to be a consistently loving mom.

    6 months in, having a child has actually grounded our relationship, made decisions easier, taught us to be kinder to one another as well as ourselves. We’ve gotten our financial house in order, he’s gotten a raise and bonuses. In many ways, our roles are more defined, and with what free time we get, we appreciate one another more.

    Who knew that it would be a baby that would bring more romance, $ and freedom to our lives?

  3. Brandy says:

    I agree with this list completely. I knew I had a good man, but didn’t realize just how big a husband lotto I’d hit until our son was born. Since I got pregnant on our honeymoon, our whole first year of marriage was tainted my my pregnancy induced psychosis (not an exaggeration…sadly) and he stuck by me and supported me 100%. It just got better after the baby made his entrance and 3 years later gets better every day. Babies usually seem to hurt relationships and bring out the worst, but in our case the kid seemed to solidify our union.

  4. Irena says:

    Your husband is awesome. I fully share your awareness of how watching them be a dad is wonderful and allows you to appreciate them all the more. However, all that aside, I just wanted to say what a beautiful child you guys have!! I hope she keeps that smile because it lights up everything around her!

  5. Irena says:

    and by her, I mean him. That’s what I get for commenting before I read through all the pics. Sorry.

  6. Heiddi says:

    You guys look SO happy. I hope to have that one day. :)

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