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10 Ways to Bully-Proof Your Kids

By mandycheney |

Photo by Mandy Cheney

Do you ever wonder what your kids will be like when they grow up? Do you have dreams and high hopes of them becoming something specific, like a doctor or a professional athlete? Maybe you just hope they grow up and aren’t too screwed up. I fall in that category a lot, I’ll admit.

I was thinking though, if I could have my child be anything, it would be confident. I think it’s the foundation for success in any area. Great things can be built upon a confident child. Confident children tend to behave better and are less likely to be bullied or give in to peer pressure. Heaven knows kids these days need a shield from bullies. I think confidence is just the thing.

Each one of my kids is different. We’ve got a rainbow of colors over here as far as personalities go.They all came with their own strengths and weaknesses. I wish they all could have inherited the “confident gene” from their daddy, like they did his eye color, that would make my job as a parent so much easier. But alas, that did not happen. I’ve got to put in some effort if I want to raise confident children. That’s one of those things that is easier said than done. It’s not like baseball practice where I can just send them for an hour each week to “confidence practice” and they come back all beefed up with self-esteem.

It’s totally my job, and can I tell you how much pressure I feel because of it? A LOT! Their self-esteem stems from me and their experiences here at home. I’ve got to be on my ‘A’ game if I’m going to accomplish the task of raising confident, contributors to society.

Dr Sears, the parenting guru stated:

The roots of a young child’s self-concept come from home and nurturing caregivers. After six years of age, peer influence becomes increasingly important. The deeper the roots of home-grown self-confidence, the better equipped kids are to interact with peers in a way that builds up self-worth rather than tearing it down.

So, this is on my mind lately because I see the confidence level in one of my kids starting to drop. And after talking to their teacher at school, and hearing that she has noticed the same thing, I can’t help but delve into this and start, “Operation-beef-up-my-kid’s-self-confidence.”

My mission is to start with these next ten tips. If you’re interested in raising confident kids too, then click through and let’s do it together, shall we?

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How to Raise Confident Children

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

So often we demand respect from our little ones, and I'm pretty sure they would love to have the same courtesy shown to them. If we don't like being yelled at, chances are...they don't either. Home should be a safe place where our kids feel respected. Do unto others...
Photo:themushblog.com

 

We can really help our children get a step ahead in life by arming them with a heaping, healthy dose of self-confidence. And with that, they won’t allow others to bully or cut them down. So, let ”Operation-beef-up-my-kid’s-self-confidence” begin!

What do you do to help your kids feel self-worth?


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About mandycheney

mandycheney

mandycheney

Mandy Cheney is a writer and mother of 4 residing in Utah. She was a Parenting blogger at Babble.

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10 thoughts on “10 Ways to Bully-Proof Your Kids

  1. Ashley says:

    When I was very young, I saw my mom undressing and said, “Mommy, you’re fat!” I honestly wasn’t trying to be mean; I was making an observation as most kids do. My mom was so hurt she cried. And I felt awful. From then on, I grew up knowing that ‘fat’ was the worst thing you could call a person and therefore the worst thing you could be. I honestly believe this is where my own body image issues started. I saw my mom struggle with her weight and her body image while I was growing up, and I made her insecurities my own. I love my mom and I know she never intended for my sister and I to grow up with confidence issues. I hope to learn from that experience and set a better example for my own daughter.

  2. mandycheney says:

    I think a lot of us can relate to that! I sure can. I think moms really need to find a way to be secure and confident so those insecurities aren’t passed down. Thanks Ashley for that reminder!

  3. Nina says:

    I am a 59 year old grandmom, but not feeling the age. My fat is mostly in the front and my 6 year old granddaughter never fails to remind me when she sleeps overs. Of course I’d rather she not notice, but it’s front and center. I make a game of it. She says I’m fat, I say I am not… my stomach is. She repeats it and I repeat the same thing, after a couple of times going around and around, we both are laughing and it’s forgotten. My feelings aren’t hurt because she really enjoys our laugh together, and my fat has not stopped her from wanting to visit grandmom.

  4. KateA says:

    I think that this is a great list, but I would emphasize that people that are confident are ok with failing. While kids need to have a place to succeed and do well at something, they also need a place to practice failing safely. Kids that never experience this are more likely to give up or feel bad about themselves when they do fail.

    Sports can do this, but so can simple games. I never let my daughter beat me at games. If she wins fair and square, great…but I don’t cheat to let her win. She can learn that she is still wonderful even though she lost that game.

  5. Theresa says:

    I’m overweight and have been all my life. When I ran a child care center one mother and grandmother has been making derogatory comments about my weight. I know because the little girl said “My Mommy and Grammy said you are FAT and need to lose weight!” And this was said right in front of them as they dropped her off.
    I Immediately knelt down and told her “Yes I’m fat because I am a soft squishy pillow person. I’m here because I feel so good to hug, try and see!” I held her gently and said “See, no bony lumps to poke you!”
    She turned to her mommy and said “Mommy please get fat so you are fun to hug too.” The grandmother went off in a huff, but the mom, to her credit said “I guess I earned that didn’t I?” I opened my arms and we hugged, and she laughed, saying “You ARE fun to hug!”
    12 years later I was babysitting her brand new grand-daughter.

  6. bp says:

    I’m all for giving kids confidence in themselves, but that can be taken too far. I saw a kid on the playground a while back who was selfish and a terrible playmate, always needing to have things be his way. When none of the other kids would play with him any more, he went crying to his mother, who told him “You’re too good for those other kids.” She’s raising a spoiled brat in my opinion, but he may not be lacking for confidence.

  7. Heidi says:

    Just an opinion… stop putting so much value on words like “success” and “failure”. They are just words and more interestingly, “failure” is just another word for that didn’t work. There is so much more value in the lesson learned from a so-called failure than success. We learn from our mistakes for a reason, to teach us something we didn’t already know. Also, we don’t use the word try in our house, it implies that you won’t reach your goal. Instead we say we will or we do!

  8. Paul says:

    I feel misled: the article title is “10 Ways to Bully-Proof your Kids.” But the article is all about self-confidence. Maybe that is one way to bully-proof your kids, I don’t know. Whether or not it is, where are the other 9 ways to bully-proof my kid? Clicking on the arrows at the end of the article gives just a hodge-podge of semi-good things to do, but I see no other bully-proofing methods.

    Why is this article not titled “Some Ways to Help your Kid Get Self-Confidence”?

  9. Semper Fidelis says:

    I stood up to some ‘bullies’ when I was in seventh grade, defending a school buddy, and I pounded the crap out of them…three of them….and my school buddy followed me through High School and into the military…he was a Navy Corpman and I was Marine….he was awarded, posthumously for his bravery caring for the wounded and I was one of them….he returned the favor…..stand your ground and don’t whine…mamma can’t take care of you forever….you can’t remain a mamma’s boy forever….Life is real and at times very tough and tears don’t wash away any problems….taking care of yourself and your friends can be very rewarding,,,,keeping and instilling confidence in yourself and others can be very uplifting…..it is called ‘sticking together’ and believing in what you were put here for.

  10. Semper Fidelis says:

    Just to add to what I said before….
    I stood up to some ‘bullies’ when I was in seventh grade, defending a school buddy, and I pounded the crap out of them…three of them….and my school buddy followed me through High School and into the military…he was a Navy Corpman and I was Marine….he was awarded, posthumously for his bravery caring for the wounded and I was one of them….he returned the favor…..stand your ground and don’t whine…mamma can’t take care of you forever….you can’t remain a mamma’s boy forever….Life is real and at times very tough and tears don’t wash away any problems….taking care of yourself and your friends can be very rewarding,,,,keeping and instilling confidence in yourself and others can be very uplifting…..it is called ‘sticking together’ and believing in what you were put here for.

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