15 Things You Should Never Say to an Adoptive Parent

“By choice, we have become a family, first in our hearts, and finally in breath and being. Great expectations are good; great experiences are better.” ~Richard Fischer, Adoptive parent

Is there anything more beautiful, selfless, or loving than adoption?

No.

Ask any adoptive parent and they’ll tell you their child was born in their heart. The amazing families who open their hearts and their homes know that blood doesn’t make a family; love does.

Unfortunately for these beautiful families, the public always has to say their peace. I asked adoptive parents for the most ridiculous comments they’ve ever received about adoption. Brace yourselves…

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  • You probably got a drug baby, huh? 1 of 15
    You probably got a drug baby, huh?
    You probably got dropped on your head.
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • You really should’ve adopted a baby. Older kids have way too much baggage. 2 of 15
    You really should've adopted a baby. Older kids have way too much baggage.
    I really think you should've kept that comment to yourself. Trust that our adoptive choices were made with love and care.
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • The first hour after birth is essential for a permanent bond 3 of 15
    The first hour after birth is essential for a permanent bond
    Well, thank you for your concern but we're doing just fine.
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • As soon as you adopt a kid, you’ll get pregnant 4 of 15
    As soon as you adopt a kid, you'll get pregnant
    I don't know about that but if it happened, then double the blessings, no?
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • How are you going to teach him… 5 of 15
    How are you going to teach him...
    how to be a strong, black man when you're white? Wait, what?! I'm raising him to be a strong man. Period.
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Does she know her real parents? 6 of 15
    Does she know her real parents?
    We are her real parents in every sense of the word. So yes, she does.
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • It must be hard for your real kids… 7 of 15
    It must be hard for your real kids...
    to have an ethnic sister. Whoa, my "real" kids? They are all my real kids! "Ethnic sister"? This conversation is over.
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Why did his real mom give him away? 8 of 15
    Why did his real mom give him away?
    Again with the "real" thing...ugh. Why is his past so important to you? Wouldn't you rather know about his bright future?
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Only celebrities get the white babies huh? 9 of 15
    Only celebrities get the white babies huh?
    What the heck?! My daughter and I came together because we were supposed to. I wouldn't have cared what color she was!
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • I’d only adopt if I could get an infant my own race 10 of 15
    I'd only adopt if I could get an infant my own race
    Well, that's totally your call. Thanks for sharing...I guess.
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • How much did he cost? 11 of 15
    How much did he cost?
    Really? You're going to ask me just like that? He's not a purse; he's my child!
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Of course you love your adopted child, but… 12 of 15
    Of course you love your adopted child, but...
    you'd love your own child more. My adopted child is my own child. There's no "more" or "less" when it comes to family.
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Did you get to choose your kid, like out of a catalog? 13 of 15
    Did you get to choose your kid, like out of a catalog?
    As in the spring 2012 collection? Um, no and go away.
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • When your kid grows up he’ll want to find his real mom 14 of 15
    When your kid grows up he'll want to find his real mom
    You know, we'll cross that bridge when (and if) we come to it.
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Wouldn’t you at least try fertility treatments before adoption? 15 of 15
    Wouldn't you at least try fertility treatments before adoption?
    My uterus and my adoptive decision are none of your business.
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]

Are you an adoptive parent?

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