Nights are very sacred at our house. I’m pretty firm with our 7:30 bedtime, and my inner mommy clock knows that come 8:00, when the lights turn off, it’s time to shut down. The kitchen closes, my mommy brain shuts off and for some reason my patience shuts off too.
My husband typically gets comfortable in his office chair and I get comfy in mine. We finally have a chance to get caught up on work and the events of each other’s day without interruption. At least that’s what we would like to happen and what we expect to happen each night.
But just when I’m comfy and ready to switch gears, I feel little fingers tap, tap, tapping on my shoulder. And that’s when the second round of bedtime begins. We’ve shut down and they’ve turned up their creative brains. Kids are clever and oh so good at finding ways to prolong that bedtime hour, aren’t they?
I’ve heard some pretty funny and creative excuses come out of those little mouths as they try to squeeze every last second from the day before drifting off into dreamland.
I asked parents to tell me the excuses they hear at their house when bedtime rolls around. I love how creative these kids can be! Wish I had the patience to appreciate it most nights!
Here’s what the little ones say to prolong the bedtime hour…
1. I’m scared. It only takes 5 seconds for monsters to appear and their very friendly bedroom to become the enemy.
2. I’m sick. I hear every variation of this one every night. The most recent being, “Mom, my brain has the flu.”
3. Meow! One parent said that her daughter who wasn’t supposed to leave her room would sit at the door and meow like a cat in hopes that her parents would come looking for the animal and rescue her from the dreaded bedtime. That is funny!
4. I’m thirsty. I got so tired of this one I made sure they each had a water bottle by their beds. It kind of worked. Actually, it just started a new excuse.
5. The water in my water bottle is yucky, I can’t drink it. Can’t say I didn’t try.
6. I forgot something, I can’t sleep without it! It’s usually a toy or bear that is tucked far away in the basement and requires a few minutes to find. And it’s always a random toy that they don’t care for any other time.
7. I forgot to give you a kiss. This one was a popular. They’re tender aren’t they? Too bad it’s at the wrong time.
8. Teddy Bear forgot to give you a kiss. All of a sudden, Teddy is very important and must have kisses too.
9. The whole room of stuffed animals forgot to give you a kiss. And how dare we forget the others?
10. My back is SOOO itchy and I can’t reach it. This one belongs to my daughter. She’s famous for itchy backs and it’s a code red emergency if it doesn’t get taken care of.
11. I don’t want to get in my bed, because I don’t want to have to make it in the morning. This one is my son’s. He will sleep on the floor without any blankets or anything so he won’t have to make his bed in the morning.
12. I’m hot. They need a change of clothes.
13. I’m cold. They need more blankets.
14. I didn’t have lunch. Even though they ate dinner! I loved this one! So funny!
15. I made you a gift. They know we won’t turn down their gifts or cards. So clever!
16. I’m wheezing and need my inhaler. One mother told me that her son likes to use this one even when he is, of course, not wheezing.
17. You forgot to sing my favorite song. One parent said her son needs to be sung, “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John, and they better not forget to do it!
18. Mom! I need a bandaid! This is where they start getting really smart and fake injuries. Last night my son told me he needed a new leg, his was broken.
19. I have to go to the bathroom. Here’s another one that’s sure to work with the parents. They know we’re not going to let them pee their pants.
20. I’m so hungry! Nice try! Kitchen is closed! That’s what I usually say every night. This one though, is the one that triggers my impatience the quickest. Probably because I all but begged them to eat dinner and they refused.
Do your kids have excuses they use to prolong bedtime? If so, I’d love to hear what they come up with at your house!
Read more from Mandy at mush.
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