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25 Things You Never Wanted to Know About Me

I’ve been blogging here on Babble for a while now so I feel like it’s time we took our relationship to the next level; don’t you? 

I have a real name; it’s Lori Garcia.

Look at us; we’re onto second base already!

If you’ve ever wondered (or never wondered) about me, you’ve come to the right blog post. Instead of compiling a meaningful list of heavy things to give you a deeper understanding into my psyche, I thought a superficial list of the fluffy variety would be far more worthy of your precious time.

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  • Apparently I had Pooper Power 1 of 25
    Apparently I had Pooper Power
    This is my mom looking skinny as hell about five minutes after giving birth. And this is my crib where my dad couldn't leave well enough alone with a stencil.
  • John Mayer and I make cute babies 2 of 25
    John Mayer and I make cute babies
    I have a thing for the tool that is John Mayer. I may or may not have used
    MorphThing.com to see what our future children would look like.
  • I’ve had extreme orthodontia 3 of 25
    I've had extreme orthodontia
    From the time I was 6 years old I've been in the orthodontist's chair. Seven pulled teeth, a palatal arch, a lingual arch, five years of braces (and headgear) later, I emerged with a simply lovely smile.
  • I like to save things… 4 of 25
    I like to save things...
    ...like floppy disks. You never know when you might need that high school paper on "Tess of the d'Urbervilles".
  • Pictures like this… 5 of 25
    Pictures like this...
    ...explain why I blog. Thanks Mom and Dad.
  • I went to high school with a famous porn star 6 of 25
    I went to high school with a famous porn star
    This picture has nothing to do with the caption, other than the fact that it was taken while I was in high school.
  • I went through three prom dates 7 of 25
    I went through three prom dates
    My first date broke up with me so he could sleep with his ex-girlfriend. My second date ended up grounded and couldn't go. My third date was just a friend who was cute as a button!
  • I fell victim to the spiral perm… 8 of 25
    I fell victim to the spiral perm...
    ...and I loved every minute of it.
  • I’d make a better wife than a girlfriend 9 of 25
    I'd make a better wife than a girlfriend
    Said a boy I dated in high school. He was probably right.
  • I met my husband when I was 17 10 of 25
    I met my husband when I was 17
    Yes, that is a scrunchie on my wrist. Yes, he is wearing Dr. Martens. It was 1994; be nice.
  • I cried both times I learned I was having a boy 11 of 25
    I cried both times I learned I was having a boy
    I know, I totally suck. Bad mommy!
  • I’m named after my grandma 12 of 25
    I'm named after my grandma
    I have my grandma's middle name and a variation of her first.
  • My house has been burglarized 13 of 25
    My house has been burglarized
    You know when you come home from work and discover your door is wide open and crap is all over the place and you call your husband and bitch at him for leaving the house such a mess before leaving for work and he tells you to check the back door and your find it wide open and he screams at you to grab the kids and get out of the house immediately and call the cops to discover all of your valuables have been stolen because you've been robbed? Yeah, that.
  • My parents nicknamed me Bo… 14 of 25
    My parents nicknamed me Bo...
    ...for no reason whatsoever.
  • My engagement ring broke during my engagement 15 of 25
    My engagement ring broke during my engagement
    My ring is an antique from the 1920's and about a month before our wedding, the inside of the band broke. I was certain it was an omen. Thirteen years later I guess it wasn't...at least not yet anyway.
  • I suck at math 16 of 25
    I suck at math
    I can calculate 30% off an item on sale but that's about it.
  • I’m a slot charmer 17 of 25
    I'm a slot charmer
    I have ridiculously good luck with slot machines. Give me $20 and I'll make you a small fortune.
  • I have a degree in Child Development 18 of 25
    I have a degree in Child Development
    I'm such a mess of a mother that I have a hard time believing it myself.
  • I have a favorite mug 19 of 25
    I have a favorite mug
    It's a mug from "The View" where I served as a brand ambassador once upon a time.
  • I like to DIY 20 of 25
    I like to DIY
    I'm not a very skilled DIYer but I love trying. And failing. But mostly trying.
  • I have a broken toe that just won’t heal 21 of 25
    I have a broken toe that just won't heal
    Here's a picture of my toe about 30 minutes after I broke it. Six months later it's still jacked up.
  • I’m nomophobic 22 of 25
    I'm nomophobic
    I cannot be without my cell phone. Ever.
  • My husbands Best Man broke up… 23 of 25
    My husbands Best Man broke up...
    ...with my Maid of Honor a week before our wedding. That wasn't weird.
  • I don’t have any tattoos 24 of 25
    I don't have any tattoos
    Yet anyway. I'm well on my way to having a mom-life crisis so that may change.
    Image credit: Shutterstock
  • I’m a little bit psychic 25 of 25
    I'm a little bit psychic
    I can't tell your future or communicate with the dead but I get really strong premonitions.
    Image credit: Shutterstock

Knowing what you now know, I hope we can still be friends.

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More on Kid Scoop:

My Parents Always Said…

10 Ways Motherhood Made Me a Better Wife

Secret Sadness: My Battle With Depression and Anxiety

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