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6 Things Not to Say to a Shy Kid (And His Mom!)

By marinka |

I was a shy kid.

I was a shy kid who preferred solitude to the company of my peers, who dreaded meeting new people and forced social interactions. But what I dislike most of all was when adults focused on my shyness and treated it like a disease or worse, something that I could turn on and off.

That’s one of the reasons I loved Lori’s post about introverts and Devan’s 7 Rules to Follow When Raising an Introverted Child. I love the reminders that there is nothing intrinsically better about a child being an extrovert, that being an introvert is not a character flaw.

Click through for 6 things never to say to a shy kid (or his parents!)

 

 

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6 Things Never to Say to a Shy Kid

Are you shy?

I have no idea why people ask this inane question, but the urge to respond "what do you think, Einstein?!" can be especially hard to suppress.
Photo Credit: MorgueFile


Photo source: MorgueFile

For more of Marinka, visit her personal blog Motherhood in NYC and The Mouthy Housewives, where she doles out advice as though it were candy. Mmm … candy. Also, follow her on Twitter, where she never refers to herself in the third person, but does have a potty mouth. Sorry!

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Talk Back to Children’s Books

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20 totally inappropriate vintage ads featuring children
7 things you should never say to a child
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About marinka

marinka

marinka

Marinka is a wife and mother of two living in Manhattan's West Village. On her personal site Motherhood in NYC, she blogs about her life in New York City, her kids and family, current events, and the art and science of blogging.

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5 thoughts on “6 Things Not to Say to a Shy Kid (And His Mom!)

  1. Bloggoneit says:

    As an introvert myself, I can so relate to this post. The sad part is that my middle daughter is shy (introverted) and I was pushing her out there so that she wouldn’t be like me because my childhood and early adulthood was so difficult. After reading the book, “Quiet:The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” I was finally able to accept myself, and by extension, my daughter.

  2. Rod Norman says:

    I was painfully shy when I was a kid. I was a wallflower if there ever was one. I speak to shy kids. I tell them that. I tell them it will get better when they are ready and that it is ok until then.

    I am now able to speak in public, perform my music, wak up to and introduce myself to people, and start or change conversations. I also am able to state my opinions when I think it matters.

    I hope this helps someone who has a shy child or who is suffering from shyness. At some point I just said “This is not working for me”. I dived in and nothing bad happened.

  3. Erica M says:

    Beautiful, the last is my favorite. I am shy myself and that was what I needed to hear :) I’ve always felt out of place and would love to be outgoing. I feel like I need to change but I feel like its too late. I have a 2 year old son and I pray that he won’t be anything like me, but more outgoing like his Dad :) I think life as an introvert is tough enough and as a child… Worse.

  4. Nicole says:

    I totally understand how it feels to be shy. After the death of my Mom, I became sheltered for fear of losing someone else close to me. I stayed to myself.amd eventually became a social wallflower. But I FINALLY was able to meet someone who chisled at the wall I had up till we bonded through so much. Now that she is in her heavenly home, I no longer have to worry about being a social wallflower

  5. Ariel says:

    I was painfully shy as a child and still have social anxiety today. Unfortunately my daughter is about as extroverted as one can get. Oh how I wish she would be a shy child so I don’t have to interact with every child and parent at the playground/store/restaurant/etc.

    I needs to find a book on how Introvert parents deal with raising their extrovert children.

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