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7 Things NOT To Say To The Parent Who Has It All Together

By Devan McGuinness |

Have you ever logged on to Facebook to read, again, a fellow parent’s status update that is another way-too-happy-to-be-real commentary? Or when you go to pick your kids up from school and the glamorous, always-put-together Mom greets her children with her perfectly pearly white smile? They drive you crazy, right?

As ridiculous as we stressed-out parents may think their constant ‘perfection’ and ‘have their sh*t together-ness’ is, turns out — stress-free parents do actually exist. Some work hard at it –to achieve that balance in life that many think is impossible. They know themselves, their limits and stay within them and that is why they always have their stuff together.

We shouldn’t be so judgy about it because there is a lot that can be learned from those super-rare parents, and just as there are phrases we should never say to a stressed-out parent, there are some things we should try not to say to those parents who have their sh*t together.

Click through to read 7 phrases you should never say to a parent who seems to have it all in order:

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What Not To Say to 'Have It Together' Parents

"Just Wait Until ..."

.. "your kids are older".
.. "summer break".
Assuming someone is only doing awesome because of their specific 'easier' situation is mean.
Photo credit: photostock

:: What phrase do you hate the most? ::

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About Devan McGuinness


Devan McGuinness

Devan McGuinness is the writer of the lifestyle blog Accustomed Chaos. After surviving 12 miscarriages, Devan founded Unspoken Grief, a resource and support site for perinatal and neonatal loss. Read bio and latest posts → Read Devan's latest posts →

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4 thoughts on “7 Things NOT To Say To The Parent Who Has It All Together

  1. The Mommy Psychologist says:

    I just assume they are on drugs:) And have like four nannies. I don’t say that to them. I just think it. Makes me feel better about myself.

    “The child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself.”

  2. Tanya says:

    I am a stay at home mom and I am usually dressed fairly nice and with make-up on (except today,lol) but what people don’t know is that I always get up 1/2 hour to 1 hour before my twins get up so I can shower and get a coffee in me before the chaos starts. My house is usually pretty clean too and with 16 month old twins this isn’t easy, it takes a ton of disipline on my part to get things done during naps and while they are strapped in and eating in thier highchairs. I am no where near perfect and for those that do have thier sh*t together, I know it takes a ton of work and is not easy…plus you don’t know what they are like those days you don’t see them…seriously, those are the days they are losing it!!! lol

  3. Erin says:

    How about,
    “I’m very disciplined with myself. Maybe if you didn’t spend so much time hungover from that glass of wine (or three), you’d have your sh*t together too.” or,
    “I know my limits. Maybe if you didn’t choose to have a herd of kids, you’d be handling things better too.” or
    “My kids are awesome because I put a ton of work in at the front end, *before* they turned into hard to manage little a-holes.” or
    “My family loves to help, the same as I love to help them. That’s what’s great about our family- we’re there for each other. Also, it helps that the kids aren’t little a-holes.”

  4. Alley says:

    The one that bugs me the most is, “well, you only have ONE child, that’s why (such-and-such)”. I just want to look at whoever says this to me, and actually I have in the past when I’ve been feeling sassy, and reply, “you think that I WOULDN’T LOVE more than one child? Don’t you think that I feel that she deserves siblings?” Good grief. And I will admit, more often than not when I’ve turned their words back around on them, I’ve gotten an apology. When I see a “put-together” mom, I quietly envy her but not in a negative way, and I also try and take inventory of what I’m grateful for in my own life.

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