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7 Tips for Talking to Your Kids About the Birds and the Bees

There comes a time, about 3 or 4-years-old, when your children seem to be so curious about everything. You’ll grow tired of hearing “why?” and “how come?” and you’ll be used to answering question after question while multi-tasking.

Conversations like these are important for you and your children. It solidifies the bond with you and your child, opens the lines of communication, and shows your kids that it’s okay to discuss anything with you. This will come in handy when they start asking questions that are a little more… sensitive.

We’ve all heard of the “birds and bees” talk. It’s usually expected to be a very embarrassing and awkward talk around the time puberty hits that gives the cliff’s notes version of what to expect. I don’t believe this is the best way to go when it comes to talking to our kids about something as important as body changes and sex, but it doesn’t have to be awkward and complicated either.


  • Tips on Talking to Your Kids About Sex 1 of 8
    Tips on Talking to Your Kids About Sex
    Talking to our kids about sex can be an important part of raising our children. It's not always an easy topic to cover, but here are some tips on making it a bit easier, for all of you.
  • Start the Conversation Early 2 of 8
    Start the Conversation Early
    I don't want my kids to be embarrassed to talk to me about anything, and I figure -- if we make this a natural and normal discussion (which it is), and start early, they won't be embarrassed or shy to come to me with any questions.
  • Make it Age-Appropriate 3 of 8
    Make it Age-Appropriate
    You don't have to give out all the details right away (as you may with the "birds and bees" talk), but instead make the conversations age appropriate with language they will understand. As they grow, you can share more details.
  • Use Real Names 4 of 8
    Use Real Names
    When you talk about body parts and functions, use the real names and not "cutsy" nicknames. Doing so will allow your child to understand the names for their body and enforce that it's nothing to be embarrassed about.
  • Don’t Make an Example Out of Yourself 5 of 8
    Don't Make an Example Out of Yourself
    When you're talking to your kids about sex, don't make an example out of yourself. What I mean is, if you're telling a story or talking about body changes, use the "everyone" narrative and leave out specifics for you. It will make things more awkward for your child and may shut down the conversations.
  • Make It An Ongoing Conversation 6 of 8
    Make It An Ongoing Conversation
    I don't believe in the one-time birds and bees talk and don't think it allows for getting answers where your kids should. Make it an ongoing conversation and not that awkward sit-down talk.
  • Be Open to Answering Question 7 of 8
    Be Open to Answering Question
    My kids have already had a lot of questions about why adults look different, where babies come from and come to me often with questions. If you're open to answering them, your kids will be more likely to ask you (and not their friends).
  • Don’t Show Embarrassment 8 of 8
    Don't Show Embarrassment
    Sex is not always the easiest thing to talk about and it's understandable that there may be a bit embarrassment there. When it comes to talking to kids, if you show you're embarrassed, they may become so as well, so try to keep that at bay.

Photo credits: photostock

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