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7 Ways Little League Would Be Better If I Were Coach

If I coached my son’s Little League team, there would be some changes made. And no, I don’t mean that delicious snacks would be served between innings, although I’m definitely not ruling that part out.

If I were coach, baseball would be a kinder, gentler, safer sport. And probably also shorter.

 

Click through to see how everything would be better if I coached Little League!

 

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  • All players would be bubble wrapped! 1 of 7
    All players would be bubble wrapped!
    Sure, being bubble wrapped would slow the kids down, but with other team similarly ensconced, it would certainly level the playing field. Safety first! Get it from Amazon $23.80
  • No more strikes! 2 of 7
    No more strikes!
    Instead of a strike, which implies combat and hitting, the Pitches Previously Known as Strikes would be known as NQPs (Not Quite Perfect). After three NQPs, the pitcher and the batter would hug, to reassure each other that there was no ill will.
    Photo Credit: MorgueFile
  • A Bigger and Lighter Ball! 3 of 7
    A Bigger and Lighter Ball!
    The ball would be bigger and lighter. Sure, it would probably take three kids at a time to pitch this enormous ball, but what's where teamwork comes in! Get it from Amazon $28.40
  • Batting Helmets On at All Times 4 of 7
    Batting Helmets On at All Times
    Kids wear helmets when batting, but why not all those other times? What, suddenly there is no risk of a comet hitting planet Earth? On my team, every one wears a helmet. Including the parents sitting in the bleachers. The parents' iPads and Kindles would have similar safety helmets. Get it from Amazon $14.98
  • Ban the Bat 5 of 7
    Ban the Bat
    Instead of heavy wood or dangerous aluminum, our bats would be made out of love and adorned with flowers and poetry verses.
    Photo Credit: Wiki
  • Sliding Is Banned! 6 of 7
    Sliding Is Banned!
    No more torn baseball pants and unsightly stains! Instead as a runner approached home plate, a soft shoe tap dance and/or an aria would be in order.
    Photo Credit: Wiki
  • Diamonds Glitter. And so will our field. 7 of 7
    Diamonds Glitter. And so will our field.
    Sprinkling some glitter on the baseball diamond would make it more diamond-y. That is certainly a win for everyone! Get it from Amazon $11.29

For more of Marinka, visit her personal blog Motherhood in NYC and The Mouthy Housewives, where she doles out advice as though it were candy. Mmm … candy. Also, follow her on Twitter, where she never refers to herself in the third person, but does have a potty mouth. Sorry!

Photo Credit: Morguefile

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