There are times that I really wish this parenting job came with a training manual or a how-to book, especially when the stress really hits the roof. I don’t want to “screw up” my kids, but do believe that with my underlying hope to do the best that I can, that even if I do mess up once in a while I will hopefully be forgiven.
It wasn’t that long ago that I was a kid myself and yet there are times I just have no idea who these little people are or what they’re thinking. It’s funny being on this side of it with the added stress of adult responsibility piled on. I am certain there have been more than a few handful of times that I have not approached a conversation with my kids in the best way and I have a feeling there will be a few times more. You would think that communication would be simple, yet it’s so complicated and even more so when you’re trying to raise a child to be the best they can be.
Click through to read 7 mistakes parents make when talking to their kids (me too):
Nagging 1 of 7Every morning I seem to need to remind my son to refocus and finish his breakfast. There is a big time crunch and I find myself nagging him to finish his food. Turns out, this is not really a great thing. According to Time, doing so can compel someone to do the opposite and can teach kids that reminders will come, so no need to track time themselves. .
Source: Healthland Time
Photo credit: Brian Lane Winfield Moore/Flickr
Being Short With Replies 2 of 7One of my biggest peeves I see in parents is this idea that children must comply simply because you said so. Saying things like "because I said so" don't teach your children the "why" other than "I am telling you what to do". I see that as a lack of respect and kids should have our respect. Take the time to explain why you're asking them to do what you're asking and reserve your stern voice for when it's really necessary.
Photo credit: FtCarsonPAO/Flickr
Talking Down 3 of 7
Busy Doing Something Else 4 of 7Kids like to feel like they're important, and it's important to let them know that as well. If you're talking to your child, put down the phone and really hear what they're talking about.
Photo credit: chefranden/Flickr
Talking Too Much 5 of 7According to LifeHack, research has shown that human brains can only old onto 5-9 items at a time for the average person. This is a big reason why kids seem to not listen when we talk in large chunks when we're giving instructions or forget something. Breaking things down for them and keeping instructions simple will have a better result.
Photo credit: Maryland Attorney General/Flickr
Using Guilt 6 of 7If you're trying to encourage your child to pick up their toys or to get ready to go out to the store, avoid using guilt tones. According to Psych Central, kids are not born with empathy, but learn it through how parents show it to them. This is why trying to guilt your child to seeing "your point of view" is not going to be the most effective.
Source: Psych Central
Photo credit: Big Mind Zen Center/Flickr
Threatening 7 of 7The goal of raising our kids should not be to raise children who comply, but think for themselves. Threatening your child to get them to do anything can damage self esteem and can be quite damaging. According to The Doctor Will See You Now, threatening your child to comply, "can shake the foundation of security and well-being that you represent. It opens up the possibility that you will not be there to protect and care for them."
Source: The Doctor Will See You Now
Photo credit: Sudhamshu/Flickr
Photo credit: adapted mikebaird/Flickr