8 Qualities I Hope to Possess as a Future Mother-In-Law
If you ever read my 14 Rules for Dating my Teenage Son, you know I have serious monster-in-law potential. I love my sons with wicked fierce love and I’m desperately hoping by the time they marry, I will have found a way to wrangle up all that motherly mothering I do so well.
That said, I have reason to believe my future daughter-in-law will love me, if for no reason than these 14 Things My Sons Need to Learn Before Moving Out. Pssh, I know I’d kiss the sacred ground my mother-in-law walked on for ‘em.
The truth is mother-in-laws get a bad rap. A mother spends her best years raising an amazing young man who will one day leave the nest to devote his entire universe to a woman she’s only just met. If we moms of boys step outside our role as daughter-in-law for a moment to consider the dynamic for what it really is, it pretty much blows.
As someone who will one day too soon find herself thrust into mother-in-lawdom, I felt it only necessary to record the qualities I somehow hope to possess.
(Kids, you have my permission to print this out and staple it to my head in about 15 years, but not a moment before.)
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I will develop a relationship with my daughter-in-law
While I'm not her mom, I'm more than just my son's mother. I am a woman with friends of all ages and I'd like her to become my friend.
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I will relinquish my crown with grace
As difficult as it will undoubtedly be, I vow to step down from my thrown as the primary woman in my son's life. By respecting his wife's place in his heart, I'm solidifying my place in his growing family.
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I will share holidays
I know it won't be easy to share important holidays with my daughter-in-law's distant family, but I recognize that her family deserves my son just as much as I do.
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I will respect my son as an adult
While he'll always be my child, I'll respect and admire the remarkable man he's become.
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I will be the exception to the mother-in-law rule...
...or at least try to be. I won't criticize cooking, cleaning, or caring for my son. If he's happy, then I'm happy.
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I will only offer advice when asked...
...and even then remain very careful while giving it.
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I'll be there...but not too much
My son and his family can count on me whenever and wherever they may need me, but never will I descend unannounced and take over.
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I will recognize that my son has his own life
I vow to remain conscious of the guilt tactics and overbearing tendencies that can spill out of the best place of a mother's heart.
Image credit: Shutterstock
What else makes a great mother-in-law?
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14 Rules for Dating My Teenage Son
I say all the time I am raising my future daughter in laws husband. As a mother of all boys I value how important a good relationship with my DILs will be. I also worry every time my in-laws visit their spouse will leave them with us in the middle of the night! He he! I recently wrote about it here. “Why Can’t We Drop Our In-Laws Off at a Safe Haven No Questions Asked.” http://allthatmakesyou.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/why-cant-you-drop-your-in-laws-off-at-a-safe-haven-no-questions-asked-divorce/
“You will recognize that her family deserves to spend time with HIM” ?? You’ve already forgotten about this future daughter-in-law! Hummm, think you’re going to have to work at this a little harder!
I really hope I bear these things in mind when it’s my turn to become a mom in law.
Would it be rude of me to hand a printed copy of this to my mother in law and beg her to do the same
I wish my mother in law had seen this. She is a monster in law and only speaks to my husband!
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