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8 Things You Should Never Say to a Mom of Boys

By Lori Garcia |

I know, I know, you’ve caught me complaining about being the only girl in my house, whining about not having a daughter, and witnessed my monster-in-law tendencies firsthand.

The truth is, I love mothering boys.

Whether you’re the mom of all boys, all girls, multiples, a large family, or adoptive children, even well-meaning people prove time and again just how much they suck at conversational banter.

As a member of the MOB (Mom of Boys) club, I hear variations of these 8 obnoxious phrases all the time; check them out after the jump!

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What Not to Say to the Mom of Boys

You need to have a girl

I need to? Like what will happen if I don't? Is my family then somehow incomplete? Please allow my heart to decide what I "need".
Image credit: Shutterstock

What else shouldn’t people say to a mom of boys?

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About Lori Garcia


Lori Garcia

Lori Garcia is a writer and mother of two living and loving in Southern California. When she's not fussing with her bangs, you can find her shaking her groove thing on her personal blog, Mommyfriend where she almost never combines true tales of motherhood and mayhem with her degree in child development. Read bio and latest posts → Read Lori's latest posts →

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16 thoughts on “8 Things You Should Never Say to a Mom of Boys

  1. LizL says:

    When I found out I was having a 2nd boy, someone said to me “Oh, I’m sorry! You can play with my girl”.

  2. Olga says:

    Some things people say… I have 2 girls and of course somebody asked me whether we’ll be trying for a third child to have a girl. I also heard “girls are easier”. I don’t think they are. I am glad I have two girls but I would be just as happy if I had two boys or one of each.

  3. Ladera Mom says:

    Oh yeah, when I say we’re going to have another one, everyone says, “You really want that girl, don’t you.” NO. actually, I LOVE my boys, wouldn’t trade them for anything- and would be just fine if I have another boy!

  4. jennifer gray says:

    I have three boys, and then I had a girl. Nothing makes my blood boil faster than someone saying to me, “Oh, you got your girl!” No, I got my fourth child, which is what we wanted. I didn’t set out to have a particular gender each time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I get to experience having a little girl, but from the moment I found out her gender, I’ve felt very defensive of my boys and what they would have to hear, like being a boy isn’t good enough or something. People are stupid.

  5. Meghan Gesswein says:

    I wish I could “like” Jennifer Gray’s comment.

  6. Michelle@OurWonderfilledLife says:

    I have 5 boys, well put. My boys are awesome and I love being a mom of boys. The best line was that personality and parenting play much more of a role than gender!!

  7. Bernadette McAllister says:

    I raised 3 wonderful boys on my own and wouldn’t trade it for anything!!! I have gotten all of these comments and then some, The one I got most was “aren’t you going to try for a girl?” or the worst was my ex when the youngest was born, saying “sorry it wasn’t a girl” he got hit!! My beautiful newborn had just been placed in my arms at the time.
    I also get mad at people who say similar things to parents of girls, I have two amazing granddaughters now and wouldn’t trade them for the world.

  8. Jackie Chiapa says:

    I have 2 boys, I will be forever grateful. I have a god-daughter who grew up with the boys. I think I was better at “boy” things, my friend thinks she’s better at “girl” things. We adapt to what we have. I agree,people are stupid. Ignore the idiots.

  9. Janna says:

    I love all 3 of my boys and very thrilled for my 4th boy due in Sept. i too have never tried for any specific gender. My 4th isnt even here yet and already people ask “are you going to try again for a girl?”. Heck no!!!! 4 is good for me!!! I couldnt be happier!!!

  10. Rebecca says:

    I have three boys. My favorite is are you going to try again? You should try one more time for a girl! With my 3rd boy I was hit with gender depression. People (family & friends) don’t understand or in my case care to understand what this is. You wouldn’t believe how many people told me to give my baby up for adoption (even my own mother). I love my boys I really do but I would really like a little girl! Thanks these 8 things also apply to us.

  11. patrice says:

    Another thing you should never say to a mom of boys: What is HER name? Did that to a neighbor last week and will probably never be forgiven. :)

  12. Tara says:

    All the people who have said boys are easier to me are without exception, moms of boys.

  13. bwsf says:

    Oh my God thank you for this! I’m so tired of all of these. I’m *still pregnant* with boy #2 and people are asking if we’ll keep trying for a girl. What the hell? Like he’s sort of a throw-away kid because I already had a boy? Usually when people ask questions or offer advice to a pregnant woman, they at least mean well, but I can’t figure out why people say this. And when a mom of a girl tells me, “well, boys are just less mature.” oh man, that makes me want to start throwing punches. Also, moms of girls love you tell me, “You HAVE to raise him to respect girls.” Oh really? I’m so glad you told me that! Duh. I haven’t been told yet that my boys need to be in sports. But, my 4 year old is already leaning toward music, and I’m not going to fill up his schedule just to make sure he’s in sports. If he wants to play sports, he can, but that’s up to him.

  14. Melanie says:

    I have two boys. While pregnant with the first (didn’t know the sex either time) I was worried I’d have a boy, only because I wouldn’t know how to relate. The second time around, I liked knowing that, if I had another boy, I’d be ok since I’d learnt how to be a mom to a boy. That’s not to say that I don’t lament the lack of tutus and frilly frocks in my world – but even if I’d had a daughter, there would have been no certainty of her being a girly girl like me.

    I’ve learnt far more about trains than I could have imagined there is to know :-) I am only a visitor on Planet Boy, but it is an interesting place to hang out!

  15. oxo says:

    I hate when people say that a woman can’t raise a boy to be a man. A comment frequently directed at single mothers of boys. My question is, if I don’t and his father isn’t around, then who will? Furthermore, mothers are the primary care givers, regardless of marital status, worldwide. Plenty of really good/successful men were raised by women. Our current president would be the best example. I love my son with my life and would never trade him for anything.

  16. GiMi says:

    When MY mom found out that MY daughter (and SIL) were having their 4th boy, her comment made my blood BOIL…”not another boy” she said. Granted my mom is 76 years old, so I had to show some repect and restraint, but I was livid. I am extremely excited to have 4 grandsons. Oh BTW, their oldest is a girl. When she was constantly asked how she felt and wasn’t she sad she’s not having a little sister, my granddaughter shrugged and said, I’m use to it! You go Girl!!

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