From the moment he could toddle, my accidental Romeo began discovering the power of his playboy charms. He learned quickly that an innocent look here, a flashy smile there, and the right amount of individualized attention were all he needed to captivate the female masses. And he knew it. Oh, how he knew it.
In the years that followed, BooBoo honed his Casanova craft to become one ridiculously smooth operator. Today, you can find him breaking hearts all over the playground, flirting with women upwards of 12 times his age, and perfecting his smolder, because that’s the kinda fella he his. Heaven help us all.
With Valentine’s Day nearly upon us, I thought it only fitting to seek woo-wisdom from the master of love himself.
Take a look at BooBoo’s “easy-peasy lemon squeezy” (his words) eight ways to get the girl of your dreams:
1. Look handsome. Put clothes on. Have your mom put gel in your hair and don’t touch it after that.
2. Give her toys and a Rainbow Loom bracelet. Give her some dolls, too.
3. Make funny faces at her so she can laugh at you.
4. Give her the fruit cup from your lunch, but not your sandwich. You need that to eat.
5. Say her name a lot of times over and over again like a robot.
6. Become Student of the Month.
7. Be good at sports on the playground and yell a lot so she watches you.
8. Walk up and smile and say “hi,” but not if she’s busy.
So there you have it, gentlemen. Best of luck with the ladies and if all else fails, tell ’em BooBoo sent ya.
Are you the mother of a lover boy?