9 Things I'm So Glad I Don't Have to Do for My Kids Anymore
See this woman crossing the finish line? That’s me, only much skinnier…with much longer hair…running (which would never actually happen). Friends, I’ve crossed the metaphorical finish line of parenting – my 4 year old can now buckle his own car seat.
I’ve bent your ear about having baby fever. I even shared the superficial reasons I want said baby, but when BooBoo buckled his car seat for the first time I realized that I’ve pretty much crossed the finish line of horrid mom chores.
This newfound freedom has me reconsidering the whole baby thing pretty hard, especially in light of these 9 things I’m so glad I don’t have to do for my kids anymore:
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Stroller wars
Excuse me, pardon me, watch your toes, big-ass stroller coming through! Not only are strollers large and cumbersome, they don't fit in standard dressing room stalls or between clothes racks. (Gee Mommyfriend, shop much?) While I miss the stroller as a stowaway compartment for excessive shopping bags, my bat arms approve of the bag-handling exercise.
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Being one-handed
It's hard to hold a baby with one arm and get anything productive done with the other. Aside from the horrific spinal damage caused by resting baby on one hip, there's the whole mommy freak-arm to consider.
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Looking like this
OK, I still look like this about 73% of the time, but the other 27%, watch out!
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Not understanding what's wrong
Until our little ones learn how to speak, we feel like strangers in a strange land who can't speak the language. Baby is fed, changed, cuddles, healthy, rested and yet still crying! Baby, help me help you!
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Buckling the car seat
Getting a child in and out of the car seat is backbreaking work. Either that or I'm seriously out of shape. Either way, it's hard and that person waiting for your parking spot isn't happy about it either.
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Corners, and hot liquids, and choking hazards! Oh my!
While I still worry about potential household dangers, I've eased up considerably. Glory be to the unchildproofed drawer!
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Feeding
Whether by boob, bottle, or spoon, feeding a baby is time-consuming, messy, and in my experience, often trying. The day my kiddo pinched his first toddler puff I knew I was home free.
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All things diapers
While I still wipe my youngest's tush (...because you needed to know that), at least the toilet handles the disposal.
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Pacifier problems
Crap, we lost it! Crap, we dropped it! It's always something with those dang pacifiers. As much as I miss the "mute button" quality of pacifiers, I find lollipops to be equally effective for older kids.
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Despite the glory of being done with these 9 momisms, nothing quite compares to the biggest, most important reason of all to have a baby. The love. The stupid, crazy, nonsensical, more than a feeling, love.
What are you glad you no longer have to do for your kids?
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OMG…we had our second when our older daughter turned 4, and I swear all I could think about for the first year was having to start all over again. I agree, 4 is a major turning point. We have two years to go…
Danielle, mine are nearly 5 years apart. I know EXACTLY what you mean!
Wow – I’m still in the middle of most of these. Starting to move way from pacifier and the need for the stroller, except for shopping or activities
http://ateachermommy.wordpress.com
Wow – I’m still in the middle of most of these. Starting to move away from pacifier and the need for the stroller, except for shopping or activities
http://ateachermommy.wordpress.com
I have an 8 year old, 6, 4, 15 month old. I’ve yet to be liberated even for a short time
. I was diaper free for maybe a year but that’s all.
I never understood baby fever! It IS just one tiresome hassle after the next and you never get a chance to relax and just ENJOY being a mom! So this list hits it right on the nail why I never had a second child. I’m through with all the hard stuff and having a lot of hassle-free FUN now!
Ann, as an only child I totally appreciate your “one and done” philosophy. I must admit, I’m really enjoying my time right now too!
My older daughter is now 4 1/2 and daughter #2 is 12 weeks, and this article is currently my life!!
I forgot about a lot of things- the pain afterwards, just HOW tired I would be, and I forgot about these 9 things too.
I totally forgot how big, awkward, and clunky those damn strollers are. I’m constantly running over things, knocking over things, and bumping into things when I’m in a store. At Easter we were at my mother’s house for dinner, when DD#2 was about 3 weeks old, and she had a meltdown, and we nearly tore the place apart looking for that blasted piece of plastic to shove in her mouth. (DD #1 had taken the soother and put it in the diaper bag because she was trying to clean up and knew we needed it at home. We found it after about 20 minutes of searching for it).
I love both of my daughters more than anything, and I desperately wanted another baby for the last couple of years, and don’t regret having our second daughter at all. But, there was an irrational moment when she was about 3 or 4 weeks old, and I actually thought to myself “WHY did I do this to myself again?!”.
I am now happy with our family of four. NEVER again will I go through all the pain and discomfort of pregnancy, and then labour and birth, and I really don’t think I can handle the newborn stage again.
I applaud the women out there too who have kids with little age gaps too. I never wanted my kids to be 4 years apart in age- but such is life, including a miscarriage between the 2. In retrospect, I am happy they are 4 years apart. My older daughter can feed herself, go to the bathroom on her own, and can play independently and occupy herself pretty well when needed. I couldn’t imagine doing this with an 18 month old at home.
I don’t want my baby to grow quickly and get big too fast, since they only stay this tiny for an even tinier time, but I will be doing a happy dance when I can sleep in past 5 am again, never have to change another diaper again, and don’t have to crawl on my hands and knees again looking for that soother again.
Wait until they can all bathe themselves… ahh the freedom! The luxury! I can’t even descibe it to you…
My oldest is 14 so I have been washing others for 14 years & am sooo happy (as of last summer) to now only be truly responcible for my own hygene. 
i don’t know.. i use baby carrier in malls,around home.. there’s no trying to get strollers through. I actually enjoy tucking my little guy into his carseat and getting those smiles,giggles and a moment of tickles.
I love bath times with my baby, we have a ton of fun splashing around, I LOVE diaper changes..feeding time is is usually nice as well.
I have 4 kids, 5.5 yr, 4yr,3yr and a 7 month old. And I WILL ALWAYS, ALWAYS love having a baby around. I get more and more sad with each passing day, since my lil guy now is our very last baby.
I feel like I’ll never be free of these things, but not the dummies- none of my children have ever had one but there are many other things that could be added to this list in its place! lol
My kids are 8, 6, 4, 2 and 8 weeks. The early weeks pass so fast that I always forget just how hard they are. Lack of sleep and baby getting colic by week 2 have been the worst bits. He’s just starting to smile now though and with all of mine I’ve waited desperately for the smiles and giggles as I find they really spur me on and keep me going through the difficult bits.
My ‘kids’ are 28, 21, and 20 this year and while I remembering wishing they’d get a little more independent when they were under 5…I can say with clarity that it all went far too fast and there are days, a lot of them to be honest, when the things they needed…bottles, a clean diaper, cuddles, stories…were things I could provide easily and confidently. Before you realize it they will be grown and you’ll have to work to adjust to a whole new type of relationship.
I can’t wait to never have to wash another sippy cup straw.
I have four kids spread over 19 years–with a gap of ten years between the youngest two. My second “baby of the family” was a surprise 40th birthday present (which was infinitely preferable to the cancer I thought I had, but no less shocking in some ways.) I forgot how overwhelmingly needy they are. I forgot how long it takes to do even the simplest errand. I forgot how many times I had vowed to write a blank check to anyone who would come and let me take a nap. Or do potty training for me. I did the math not too long ago and realized that, by the time the youngest graduates form 6th grade, I will have had children in elementary schools for 26 our of 29 years STRAIGHT. When my son has his 18th birthday next week, it will be the 59th (!!!!!!) birthday party I’ve had for one of my kids (ditto Christmases and Halloweens, etc.) Little Bitty will turn four tomorrow and we are phasing out the stroller, she has learned to do her own car seat buckle, takes care of her own bathroom business (mostly, usually), and spends a little bit of most nights in her own bed. My advice would be to appreciate the smallness of the issues kids have at this age–when you get to the ages where you get calls that they’ve wrecked the car or are in the ER (again!) from some crazy stunt on the trampoline, you’ll look back fondly on diapers!