I go away for blog conferences, with my friends, with my husband. Leaving the kids behind is not a big deal for me. I am present during the week, I oversee homework, I cook, I take them to sporting events, I nag daily. I believe a break from family is good for everyone. I believe being with my friends is great for me. So when my friend Stacy invited me for an all girls weekend, I said, “YES!” so fast that I may have broken some Saying Yes World Records.
And yet I missed my kids so much this weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I had a fabulous time with my girlfriends. We laughed so much, we got massages, had fantastic meals and yummy wine and smart conversation. There were even toe socks. Yes, toe socks. I’m lucky, so lucky, to have such great friends.
And yet, I missed my kids. In a way that felt really different.
What’s going on there, am I becoming one of those moms? You know the type, the one who can’t leave her kids because how is it possible to have a good time without them?
I don’t think so, because I certainly had a great time, but the acute missing came from three sources.
First, was the tragedy in NYC. The unthinkable. Two young children murdered, apparently by their nanny. I’m telling you, it shook me to my core. I don’t know a parent that it didn’t have that effect on. We are all devastated. We are all heartbroken. We are all distraught at the fact that someone could commit such a horrendous crime.
And it made me want to be within touching distance of my children. It’s ridiculous and makes no sense, but there you go.
Second, the impending Sandy. The Hurricane is gunning for my hometown and it makes me nervous. I wanted to be close my nearest and dearest. I wanted to go to the store to stock up. And because my husband shopped in my absence, when I got home and went to the store, I stocked up on… garlic.
Third, they’re just getting older, you know? It’s normal and it’s wonderful, but I’m more aware than ever that my time with them is limited. If I am lucky, in three and a half short years, my beautiful daughter will go to college. And then she won’t live with us anymore. And of course that’s how it is supposed to be, it is normal and healthy and good, but OMG, MY BABY.
So there you have it. I’m a mom torn between two worlds. Totally enjoying time away from my kids, but hoarding my moments with them. And even though I know that the answer is somewhere in the “balance” category, I’m still trying to figure it out. Without depriving myself of the joys of family or friendship.
* * *
Photo credit: Wiki
More on Kid Scoop: