Bad Single Parent: Dating, Drinking, OH MY!

Screen Shot 2013-07-15 at 3.51.51 PMOverheard: “OMG, so they’re getting divorced and now she’s going out all the time like a 20-something, when the kids are with their dad,” said a married guy to a group. His wife was breastfeeding.

Clearly these people were on the dad’s side and I know tidbits of this story (and the couple). Newsflash: Single parents should go out and let their hair down. There is nothing wrong with acting like an adult, or heck, a 20-something (I danced on a table when I turned 32) when you’re not with your kids, or in charge of their well-being. Just be safe and smart. Don’t drink and drive.

Just this morning, the wise Danny Tanner from Full House asked a woman out on a date. When he told DJ, Stephanie and Michelle that he was going out—without them—DJ went crazy and Danny decided not to go and said, “I’ll be single. For the rest of my life.”

Not fair (anyone who saw the episode, knows he ended up going—hooray!!)

Single parenthood can happen any way, any time. Danny’s wife Pam died. My boyfriend fled when I was 11-weeks-pregnant. I have 3 friends going through divorces. My friend Matt’s wife died.

Us single parents do not have another adult to hang out with like married people (and we also have no clue how hard marriage AND kids are—at least I don’t). We, too, want a full life, pillow talk—we want someone to have our back.

Our children are enough, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want someone to share our lives with. Shame on the people gossiping about this newbie single mom, for dancing and drinking! The kids were with their dad. I hope she let some steam off.

And, I hope the newbie single dad, does same, when she has the kids. What are we supposed to do? Sit home and wallow? Trust me, we’d be creepers if we did that, too. If married parents can have date nights—why can’t single parents?

Of course we’re going to date, date around, get to know people … date multiple people at a time, even. We’re not in committed relationships. Sometimes our child IS going to casually meet someone because they’re our child and we have no one else to watch them and we’re doing the best we can (I’m a solo single mom with my son 24:7). We’re not making out in front of our kids (no, not me!). JD has met a couple of people over the past 6 years and he’s never once suspected: “Mommy is dating that guy!” or “Mommy is gonna marry him!” or “That’s gonna be my dad!” He once called someone a Ninja Turtle, because he heard his name sometimes, but never saw him. “Mommy is dating a Ninja Turtle!”

We seek completion, love, physical contact and happiness, too. And if it means dancing on a table (wa-whoooo!) … We’re all OK! This is our life. I don’t snark when I see married people dining out without their kids. Or married moms drinking on a GNO. Show us the same respect! Or maybe just go out and party and you’ll be a happier person in general.

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Discuss you crazy kids!! XO 

 

 

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