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Blonde Five Year Olds Have More Fun?


“Oh Mommy, I wish my hair was lellow.”

For those who don’t speak Kindergartener, my five year old means yellow. In other words, my brunette five year old dreams of being a blonde.

She’s always loved the color yellow actually she’s quite obsessed with it. Even before she could speak, she would gravitate to anything yellow, from toys to clothing to crayons it always had to be yellow. I thought it was cute.

And then it started the princess talk.

And then it was followed by a need to wear a dress every single day.

And then all of a sudden, she was all yellows and pinks, and poufy dresses, and Barbies, and princesses and, oh no now I’m going to have to find my son play dates because his sister is too busy talking to her magic wand.

Disclaimer: I hate play dates.

We’ve now reached the point where the five year old will only play with her blonde dolls, ignoring the brunettes. Even Ariel, her much beloved, favorite Disney character has gotten the boot. (Even the redheads aren’t good enough for her). In her place, all things Rapunzel have taken over. Don’t get me wrong, I love Tangled as much as the next person, (do you not just weep at the paper lantern scene?), but I can recite it word for word at this point it’s time to move on.

“Oh Mommy, I wish I was Wapunzel. She is so beautiful. Her hair is so long and lellow.”

“That’s nice, honey.” Insert internal screaming here.

In her ideal world, she would be walking around in those overpriced play gowns, with sparkly lip gloss and blue eye shadow, and plastic heels all day long. It would be all Toddlers and Tiaras over here, except where the mother (me) is in the corner, rocking back and forth, wishing her five year old was still wearing her footie pajamas.

Disclaimer: I hate Toddlers and Tiaras.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m okay with wands and tiaras (hells no on the makeup) and the dolls and the dresses and that stuff she loves to play with right now. But the constantly asking me to buy her a blonde WIG so she can be blonde, is making me go gray. In fact, I need a blonde wig; to cover up the gray hair my beloved five year old is unknowingly giving me.

What a coincidence that I can now purchase a lovely blonde Rapunzel wig in every store everywhere, just in time to fulfill my child’s dreams of being a blond. Thanks Halloween.

My five year old will be THRILLED.

Photo credit: jeltovski from morguefile.com

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