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"I'd Let Chris Brown Beat Me." | What I Learned from the Grammy Awards This Year

I didn’t watch much of the Grammy Awards last night. I find the whole award show-thing a bit drab, overdone and always the same so I skipped on watching. When the show was over, I noticed a particular link was shared over and over on Facebook. I was expecting to read all about the surprise winners or who fell out of their dress but the link took me to a piece done by Buzz Feed titled “25 Extremely Upsetting Reactions to Chris Brown at the Grammys“.

My jaw dropped. Were these young women for real? I was angry — then that anger turned into sadness.

Three years ago on the eve of the 2009 Grammy Awards, the news lit up with the story of Chris Brown and Rihanna. Chris Brown has essentially been blacklisted from the awards show since he plead guilty to one count of felony assault stemming from that evening 3 years ago. News started circulating last week that not only would he be attending this years awards, but he would also be performing at this year’s Grammy Awards.

I’ve learned quite the lesson from watching all that unfolded after Chris Brown performed last night:

Why do young women care so little about themselves? This isn’t about Chris Brown and if he has or hasn’t changed. If he should receive a “second” chance to redeem himself. This is about those young women who seemingly care so little about themselves that they would wish for a man to beat them.

To hit them in the face.

To abuse them.

Not only to make light of the abuse Rihanna lived through three years ago — but to wish it on themselves.

I don’t get it. It’s sad that they care so little of themselves. To think that just because they think a man is “sexy” he can do whatever he wants — as long as he “serenades,” “kisses it,” and because he is “flawless” — beating you is fair game?

All I can think about is what if I had read something like that from my daughter? What if she felt so little of herself to think that the only way she can get a “successful and sexy” man is if she let him hit her in the face? What if my daughter was making light of something that happened to another woman?

I would be devastated. I would feel like I had let her down. That I had not instilled enough self-esteem for her to realize that she is worth SO MUCH more then that. That there is NEVER a good reason for anyone to lay a hand on her.

The lesson that I have taken from all this unfolding last night is not anything new. I have been given that extra nudge on realizing just how important it is for my daughters (and my son) to be raised with a strong sense of worth. To be raised to have a caring soul who will not belittle what other women have gone through. That their self-esteem is worth more then just them feeling pretty — it’s about finding others who value their self worth and esteem enough to nurture it.

I learned that I need to start having this conversation with them now — even at their young age — because it’s too dangerous not to.

Read more from Devan on Accustomed ChaosUnspoken Grief
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photo credit: adapted from youtube

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