On a scale from 1-10, where would you rank your self-confidence as a mother? I’m talking this moment, right now, not last year when your skinny jeans fit so nicely or perhaps you were in the dumps. As you read this, where would you place yourself on the number line, 10 being very confident?
I so wish I could be a fly on your brain and listen in on your answers. I’m sure every number on the scale would be covered. If you said a 1, I want to give you the biggest virtual hug right now. And if you’re closer to a 10, I want to hug you too and give you a ginormous pat on the back.
The topic of self-confidence has been on my mind ever since I wrote about bully-proofing our kids, which talks about the importance of self-confidence in kids. One of the ways we can help them boost their confidence is by giving our own confidence a lift. Our kids mirror us. Even if we aren’t vocally self-depricating or self-praising, they sense our confidence and follow our lead. That’s why a mother’s self-esteem can significantly help (or hurt) her own child’s feeling of self-worth. How we feel about ourselves is pretty darn important if you ask me.
I run. (Well, I used to run.) That was before morning sickness and shortness of breath became my daily ritual. Running for me was my daily course of anger management. But it was also my confidence booster. It was how I established love for myself and a deep feeling of self-worth. I remember the first time I ran a mile without stopping. I thought I was the coolest. Seriously, I wanted to have a t-shirt made that said, “Oh-Yeah, I can a run a mile without stopping!” I know, laugh it up, I’m having myself a good chuckle over here too. When I ran 5 miles, I thought I was having an outer-body experience. I’d heard of people who ran 5 miles and always wondered if I should bow down to them. I started racing and really pushing myself because I loved the way I felt every time I accomplished something I thought to be impossible for me. When I crossed the finish line of my first marathon, I was a completely new person. At that moment I felt I could conquer the world. You could say I was at a 20 on the confident number scale. Wow, what a feeling! My husband and kids were so proud too and life was awesome!
Since I’m not running right now, I find my confidence hovering around a 5 on the number scale. Right smack dab in the middle. I have days where I climb upwards toward an 8 and days when I plummet closer to a 2. I realize that my confidence can not solely rely on the number of miles I put in during the week. I have to have other sources. Thank goodness there’s writing! It’s not the same as pounding the pavement but I enjoy starting with a blank screen and filling it with words. I can visually see an accomplishment.
As mothers, I think we need a confidence reservoir to quench that dying thirst when we’re running low. What we did or do outside of mothering can’t be the only thing that boosts our confidence and the same is true with mothering. We can not solely rely on our children to give us the boost we need to keep going. A balance of both would be ideal.
I asked several women and mothers to share what helps them feel confident, especially when their tank is in the red.
Here are their 20 confidence boosters…
What do you do when you need a self-esteem boost?
Read more from Mandy at mush.
Get the latest updates from Kid Scoop - Like Us on Facebook!
Read More on Kid Scoop: